Since, as they say at the Audubon Society, it's never too early to feather your own nest, I'd like to announce that my Republican presidential endorsement for 2016 is up for sale to the highest bidder.
And in keeping with the finest traditions of the Citizens United era of this great land of ours, I expect it to go for a pretty penny.
So, get out your checkbooks boys! Call all of your fave billionaires and get busy bribing me.
In the interest of full disclosure my endorsement doesn't include my vote. I wouldn't vote for any of you if you put a gun to my head. Jesus, what a bunch of pandering scum!
But still, if there's money to be made off this election, and there surely is, I want my share.
And I really don't care who it comes from: Shelly "King of the Jews" Adelson, either Koch brother, one of those libertarian halfwits that Silicon Valley seems to crap out on a regular basis, or any other billionaire weasel trying to buy up our democracy.
I ain't particular.
All I ask is small bills and non-sequential serial numbers.
Thank You,
And God Bless America.
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