Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Gospel According To Mike Huckabee

Verily I say unto ye,

All will be forgiven!

Except the gays and the blacks and certain "loose" women and the Mexicans and the heathen and anybody else I don't cotton to.

For my God is a forgiving God...some of the time...for some of the people.

And because He loves us so--some of us at least--He shall send unto thee a child.

Well, not exactly a child.

More like a thrice married, sometime adulterous, hillbilly woman who has now "seen the light."

And this hillbilly woman, tho she may be deeply flawed in many ways, and seriously lacking in what those godforsaken liberals arrogantly call "intelligence", as if there were anything truly worth knowing besides "The Book", will be unto thee a fountain of knowledge.

And she will interpret for thee what thou should and shouldn't do in regards to mans' laws.

For mans' silly laws are always secondary to His laws.

Even if you've taken an oath on His book to dutifully abide by and administer their laws.

Verily this might be considered an ethical conundrum--if any of us knew what that was.

But obviously we don't, and that in and of itself must be part of His Great Plan.

So I sayeth unto thee, once and for always, Ignorance is truly Bliss.

Therefore, the more Ignorant the more Blissful.


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