What's the deal with you and the Nazi salute? Did you just fall into it naturally, or did you learn it from your daddy?
Is there anything you won't lie about?
Have you ever heard the phrase "infantile tantrum"?
Do you understand the definition of treason?
If you're not a racist, why do you do so many racist things? And why have you surrounded yourself with racists?
As a follow-up, if you're not stupid, why do you do so many stupid things?
Now that the world has had a good, close, look at your children, do you still believe you have superior genes?
Do they have Presidential suites at Federal prisons?
And finally, a classic one, first asked by Stephen Colbert: What does Putin's cock taste like?
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Monday, October 23, 2017
It Doesn't Really Matter, Does It?
It doesn't really matter if the current resident of the White House shits all over the Constitution.
After all, the Constitution is just ink and paper, and ink fades and paper burns.
It doesn't really matter if we have soldiers scattered all over the world and occasionally some of them die for no good reason.
Most of them are poor or working class blacks and browns and whites, and honestly, they have no place in the new Silicon Valley/Wall Street economy, except, maybe, at Wal Mart. And frankly, they're probably better off dead.
It doesn't really matter if the Republicans figure out a way to give huge tax breaks to millionaires and billionaires while taking away health care from poor people.
Fuck poor people! What have they ever done for the GOP? Other than vote for them, that is.
It doesn't really matter that the Russians helped rig our election so that a completely unqualified GOON was elected.
In a democracy, you generally get the government you deserve. Half the people don't bother to vote and the other half contains a very large percentage of imbeciles. It's a wonder we didn't end up here sooner.
It doesn't really matter that multi-starred generals have demeaned themselves to work for this GOON, even to lie for him. Or that the GOON has placed racists, liars, grifters, and fools in very important positions. Or even that the GOON seems dead set on starting a nuclear war.
The sun will still rise and set. The earth will still turn. The planet got along very well without us for billions of years, and will do so again, if necessary.
After all, the Constitution is just ink and paper, and ink fades and paper burns.
It doesn't really matter if we have soldiers scattered all over the world and occasionally some of them die for no good reason.
Most of them are poor or working class blacks and browns and whites, and honestly, they have no place in the new Silicon Valley/Wall Street economy, except, maybe, at Wal Mart. And frankly, they're probably better off dead.
It doesn't really matter if the Republicans figure out a way to give huge tax breaks to millionaires and billionaires while taking away health care from poor people.
Fuck poor people! What have they ever done for the GOP? Other than vote for them, that is.
It doesn't really matter that the Russians helped rig our election so that a completely unqualified GOON was elected.
In a democracy, you generally get the government you deserve. Half the people don't bother to vote and the other half contains a very large percentage of imbeciles. It's a wonder we didn't end up here sooner.
It doesn't really matter that multi-starred generals have demeaned themselves to work for this GOON, even to lie for him. Or that the GOON has placed racists, liars, grifters, and fools in very important positions. Or even that the GOON seems dead set on starting a nuclear war.
The sun will still rise and set. The earth will still turn. The planet got along very well without us for billions of years, and will do so again, if necessary.
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
#FakePresident
I don't do the Twitter thing. Sad.
But the POS in the White House sure does.
In the hands of someone clever, I suppose it can be a way to quickly say something funny, or witty, or touching, or maybe even insightful.
But Donald J. Trump, who is many things, is definitely not clever.
He is loud and obnoxious and bigoted and egotistical and, let's face it, just plain stupid with a capital S.
He roars about #FakeNews all of the time, when in fact, the only thing truly fake is him.
He is a fake businessman with a trail of bankruptcies and unpaid debts. He is a fake strongman, who folds when he comes up against anyone really strong. He is a fake patriot who will ultimately be proven to be a traitor.
He is without question a #FakePresident.
But the POS in the White House sure does.
In the hands of someone clever, I suppose it can be a way to quickly say something funny, or witty, or touching, or maybe even insightful.
But Donald J. Trump, who is many things, is definitely not clever.
He is loud and obnoxious and bigoted and egotistical and, let's face it, just plain stupid with a capital S.
He roars about #FakeNews all of the time, when in fact, the only thing truly fake is him.
He is a fake businessman with a trail of bankruptcies and unpaid debts. He is a fake strongman, who folds when he comes up against anyone really strong. He is a fake patriot who will ultimately be proven to be a traitor.
He is without question a #FakePresident.
Thursday, October 12, 2017
The Conversation Going On Inside The Minds Of Republican Politicians
Wouldn't it just be easier to reach out to Hispanics, and women, and blacks, and gays, and students with policies that don't hurt them?
No. That would just make us like liberals. Yuck.
No, the easy thing is to work nonstop 24/7 to keep all of the above from voting, or at the very least make it so hard for them to vote that they don't. After all, it's what we're good at. God knows we can't govern worth a damn.
(laughter)
But aren't we the Party of Lincoln?
Of course we are. And we must constantly remind our good, overwhelmingly white, supporters of that. Otherwise they might start to think that we're all delusional racist bigots, consumed by greed, fear, and envy. And that would hurt their self-esteem. Because they keep electing and re-electing us.
Shouldn't we try to do something about all the guns in the hands of unstable people?
Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights!
Ok. But do we really need all of those rapid fire rifles and pistols on the streets?
Yes. Mass shootings help to distract the common folk from all the truly awful things we're trying to do to them.
And that, after all, is the primary objective. Take as much as we can from the poor and middle class, and give as much as we can to the rich.
Amen!
No. That would just make us like liberals. Yuck.
No, the easy thing is to work nonstop 24/7 to keep all of the above from voting, or at the very least make it so hard for them to vote that they don't. After all, it's what we're good at. God knows we can't govern worth a damn.
(laughter)
But aren't we the Party of Lincoln?
Of course we are. And we must constantly remind our good, overwhelmingly white, supporters of that. Otherwise they might start to think that we're all delusional racist bigots, consumed by greed, fear, and envy. And that would hurt their self-esteem. Because they keep electing and re-electing us.
Shouldn't we try to do something about all the guns in the hands of unstable people?
Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights!
Ok. But do we really need all of those rapid fire rifles and pistols on the streets?
Yes. Mass shootings help to distract the common folk from all the truly awful things we're trying to do to them.
And that, after all, is the primary objective. Take as much as we can from the poor and middle class, and give as much as we can to the rich.
Amen!
Friday, October 6, 2017
Not Just A Moron, But A Fucking Moron
Donald J. Trump has, in just a few months, accomplished something that I thought was impossible:
He has made George W. Bush look almost competent.
Almost...
The Trump family itself is a pretty good argument for forced sterilization. Der Trump often boasts of his "good genes". Ha! I didn't know there were specific genes for avarice, greed, racism, sexism, pathological lying, and a total lack of empathy for any other human.
And how 'bout that Cabinet?!
A regular murderers' row of crooks, liars, racists, imbeciles, and the merely unqualified.
The damage that this moron, oh excuse me, apparently the proper term is fucking moron, has inflicted to this nation in such a brief time is mind boggling.
It will take years to undo it. If it can be undone...
And that's if #FakePresident doesn't start a nuclear war--just to show he can.
And for all the "regular" people who still blindly support this Epic Fool, I guess the question is what will it take to get you to stop being suckers?
Or is that genetic, too?
He has made George W. Bush look almost competent.
Almost...
The Trump family itself is a pretty good argument for forced sterilization. Der Trump often boasts of his "good genes". Ha! I didn't know there were specific genes for avarice, greed, racism, sexism, pathological lying, and a total lack of empathy for any other human.
And how 'bout that Cabinet?!
A regular murderers' row of crooks, liars, racists, imbeciles, and the merely unqualified.
The damage that this moron, oh excuse me, apparently the proper term is fucking moron, has inflicted to this nation in such a brief time is mind boggling.
It will take years to undo it. If it can be undone...
And that's if #FakePresident doesn't start a nuclear war--just to show he can.
And for all the "regular" people who still blindly support this Epic Fool, I guess the question is what will it take to get you to stop being suckers?
Or is that genetic, too?
Monday, October 2, 2017
Stop Me If You've Heard This One...
Guy with an automatic weapon and thousands of rounds of ammunition walks into a...
Hotel. Bar. Schoolyard. Shopping mall. Office. Movie theatre. Government building. Church.
Just another bloody, bloody day in America.
And here's the thing: Apparently we will NEVER see the end of this.
It's part of our culture.
Mass murder is part of our culture.
Like apple pie and baseball.
One of our cherished national crooks, Don King, is fond of saying "only in America".
"Mostly in America" is closer to the truth.
When this sort of thing happens elsewhere, as it very rarely does, the people of those countries demand action and their governments respond quickly and decisively.
Not here. No, our government sends out "prayers and condolences". All deeply felt, I'm sure.
But nothing will be done.
Because we care less about public safety and public health than we do about the right to bear just as many guns as you can afford. Like Jesus intended...
Listen: Somewhere, somebody is ranting about their Second Amendment rights being threatened.
Well, Fuck them.
Hotel. Bar. Schoolyard. Shopping mall. Office. Movie theatre. Government building. Church.
Just another bloody, bloody day in America.
And here's the thing: Apparently we will NEVER see the end of this.
It's part of our culture.
Mass murder is part of our culture.
Like apple pie and baseball.
One of our cherished national crooks, Don King, is fond of saying "only in America".
"Mostly in America" is closer to the truth.
When this sort of thing happens elsewhere, as it very rarely does, the people of those countries demand action and their governments respond quickly and decisively.
Not here. No, our government sends out "prayers and condolences". All deeply felt, I'm sure.
But nothing will be done.
Because we care less about public safety and public health than we do about the right to bear just as many guns as you can afford. Like Jesus intended...
Listen: Somewhere, somebody is ranting about their Second Amendment rights being threatened.
Well, Fuck them.
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