Wouldn't it just be easier to reach out to Hispanics, and women, and blacks, and gays, and students with policies that don't hurt them?
No. That would just make us like liberals. Yuck.
No, the easy thing is to work nonstop 24/7 to keep all of the above from voting, or at the very least make it so hard for them to vote that they don't. After all, it's what we're good at. God knows we can't govern worth a damn.
(laughter)
But aren't we the Party of Lincoln?
Of course we are. And we must constantly remind our good, overwhelmingly white, supporters of that. Otherwise they might start to think that we're all delusional racist bigots, consumed by greed, fear, and envy. And that would hurt their self-esteem. Because they keep electing and re-electing us.
Shouldn't we try to do something about all the guns in the hands of unstable people?
Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights! Second Amendment rights!
Ok. But do we really need all of those rapid fire rifles and pistols on the streets?
Yes. Mass shootings help to distract the common folk from all the truly awful things we're trying to do to them.
And that, after all, is the primary objective. Take as much as we can from the poor and middle class, and give as much as we can to the rich.
Amen!
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