#SAD.
And he was all set, too.
Got the cadet uniform out of mothballs.
Ordered a plus-plus size corset from Lane Bryant.
Asked Kim Jong-un if he could borrow one of those big hats that the North Korean generals* fancy. (Must keep the, uh, "hair" in place.)
Practiced his Mussolini jaw thrust.
Dusted off that Purple Heart that some delusional idiot gave him.
Watched Apocalypse Now again.
Got his G.I. Joes out of storage.
And now it's all for naught.
#SAD.
*(By the way, what's the deal with all those medals the North Korean generals wear? I may not be up on my Korean history, but I can't think of a war that North Korea has been in in the last 64 years. So what were the medals awarded for? Participation? Like in kids' soccer? Here's a juice box, a graham cracker, and a nice shiny medal! Or maybe you just get one every year you manage to stay alive with a murderous psychopath in power...In that case, we should ALL be getting some soon.)
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