What can one say?
Honestly, what can one say?
Your #FakePresident, who is about as bright as a small bag of horseshit--not a large bag, now, a small bag--lives in a world completely devoid of facts, truth, honesty, and empathy. In short, completely devoid of anything that might go into making a worthwhile human.
Which, when you think about it, is really an accomplishment...must be those "superior" genes.
An egomaniacal, narcissistic, delusional, criminal, fool. Who truly believes he just invented the Fourth of July.
As stunning as his total ignorance about, well, just about everything, is the fact that there are still millions of, oh, let's call them people, who support this odious, traitorous pile of toxic orange effluent.
Millions of them! And this cancerous polyp in the bowels of democracy probably is their "favorite President."
I mean, GODDAMN!
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
The Orange Old Deal (notes from a Republican think tank)
Ok. We all agree that this Green New Deal nonsense is a nonstarter.
For one thing, it's Progressive. And we're against progress. Always remember that. It's our operating principle.
Progress leads to fairness. Fairness is antithetical to everything we stand for. After all, fairness is the root of socialism. YIKES!
But we have to offer an alternative with a catchy name.
So...The Orange Old Deal:
Forget wind and solar and bio fuels. We're going to burn coal until there's not a lump of coal left. Because 30,000 coal miner jobs are much more important than the 350 million other American lives. (Let alone all of those billions of foreigners. Foreigners are so...foreign.)
Same thing applies to oil, by the way. Drill Baby drill! Remember, climate change is a liberal myth. Or a Chinese plot. You choose. The Koch brothers will be happy to fund you either way.
Fetuses are sacred. Guns are even more sacred. Health care isn't a right. Russia is our friend. Collusion is not a crime. Black people are dangerous. So are brown people. So are educated people. Especially educated women.
Looks like we are going to need to build a lot of walls.
Social Security will work better after we give all that money to Wall Street. We promise.
A living wage is whatever your boss says it is. You're lucky to have a job. So shut up and get to work.
Anything else?
Oh yeah. Always remember to wear your flag pins. Now repeat after me: We Love This Country So Much!
For one thing, it's Progressive. And we're against progress. Always remember that. It's our operating principle.
Progress leads to fairness. Fairness is antithetical to everything we stand for. After all, fairness is the root of socialism. YIKES!
But we have to offer an alternative with a catchy name.
So...The Orange Old Deal:
Forget wind and solar and bio fuels. We're going to burn coal until there's not a lump of coal left. Because 30,000 coal miner jobs are much more important than the 350 million other American lives. (Let alone all of those billions of foreigners. Foreigners are so...foreign.)
Same thing applies to oil, by the way. Drill Baby drill! Remember, climate change is a liberal myth. Or a Chinese plot. You choose. The Koch brothers will be happy to fund you either way.
Fetuses are sacred. Guns are even more sacred. Health care isn't a right. Russia is our friend. Collusion is not a crime. Black people are dangerous. So are brown people. So are educated people. Especially educated women.
Looks like we are going to need to build a lot of walls.
Social Security will work better after we give all that money to Wall Street. We promise.
A living wage is whatever your boss says it is. You're lucky to have a job. So shut up and get to work.
Anything else?
Oh yeah. Always remember to wear your flag pins. Now repeat after me: We Love This Country So Much!
Friday, February 8, 2019
How To Become A Fundamentalist
It's really very simple.
First, hit yourself in the head. Repeatedly. Over and over and over again. Use a hammer--if you can figure out how a hammer works. Try running at full speed toward a tree, or concrete wall. Lower your head before impact. Repeat.
You may be just a little woozy by now. Double vision and blood oozing from your nostrils and ears are possible side effects. Don't worry. Do not be deterred. Stay the course. You're getting there!
Now, tie a piece of rubber tubing around your neck. Tightly. You need to cut off the blood flow to your brain completely. Feel a little light headed? Good! Again, don't worry about damaging your brain. After all, you won't be using it anymore. Your autonomic systems will still work fine. Probably.
When you come to, if you come to, you're ready to be a fundamentalist!
So grab your Bible, or your Quran, or just some old issues of The National Review, and get bizzee!
(These same methods can be used to create Trump supporters, too.)
First, hit yourself in the head. Repeatedly. Over and over and over again. Use a hammer--if you can figure out how a hammer works. Try running at full speed toward a tree, or concrete wall. Lower your head before impact. Repeat.
You may be just a little woozy by now. Double vision and blood oozing from your nostrils and ears are possible side effects. Don't worry. Do not be deterred. Stay the course. You're getting there!
Now, tie a piece of rubber tubing around your neck. Tightly. You need to cut off the blood flow to your brain completely. Feel a little light headed? Good! Again, don't worry about damaging your brain. After all, you won't be using it anymore. Your autonomic systems will still work fine. Probably.
When you come to, if you come to, you're ready to be a fundamentalist!
So grab your Bible, or your Quran, or just some old issues of The National Review, and get bizzee!
(These same methods can be used to create Trump supporters, too.)
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