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Saturday, August 31, 2019

Weather Report

Is it wrong for me to hope that Hurricane Dorian changes course once again and wipes Mar-a-Lago off the face of the earth?

No. It is not.

I am, as all good Americans are, only thinking of our Dear Leader's best interests.

Traitor Don's Florida show place is full of what every good Republican calls "illegal aliens", working their hardest, and no doubt underpaid, for the Orange Pustule's benefit.

Traitor Don's constituents, the world famous MAGAts, hate "illegal aliens". I wouldn't want TD to find himself in an ethical conundrum. Dorian can solve that problem for him.

Also, this would be a perfect time for some good old insurance fraud. Traitor Don, always short on cash and with way too much media attention focused on Deutsche Bank, his preferred laundered Russian money source--oops, I meant preferred lender--could make a killing by doing what he does best: LYING.

And finally, scraping the ruins of Mar-a-Lago away would leave a nice piece of land for Traitor Don and his vile son-in-law, little Jared Kushner, to build some slums. Which is something that Jared has experience doing.

It's a win win.

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

"Just Saying Stuff"

This is how a columnist for a major American newspaper describes the moron masquerading as our President.

As a guy "just saying stuff."

This would be amusing...except that it isn't.

In the course of a few hours, the "stuff" Dipshit said included insulting any and all of the Jewish Americans who don't support him--which is the vast majority of Jewish Americans.

Then he insulted the Prime Minister of Denmark, a country that has supported, with troops, our, oh, let's call it an "adventure" in ISIS land. Because she wasn't "nice" to him when she declined to sell Greenland to us. All she said was that it was an "absurd" request. But Dipshit defines not nice as anything that isn't fawning obeisance, so no Dipshit visit to Denmark until they remember their manners. And maybe get a man as Prime Minister--Dipshit has trouble with any woman who isn't subservient.

Then he retweeted some other moron named Wayne Allyn Root, who had called Dipshit the "King of Israel", and the "Second Coming of God."

Then Dispshit called himself "the chosen one", because he is convinced, somewhere in that fetid pool of pus that is his brain, that he alone can negotiate with the Chinese. That laughter you hear is coming all the way from Beijing.

Then he reversed his position from just a few days earlier and folded on background checks, probably because the NRA reminded him how helpful they had been in using Russian money to support him during the last election. And using money from the Russians is near and dear to Dipshit's heart.

This is your President, a guy who just "says stuff". 


Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Zombies

Generally, I do not believe in crazy things like vampires, werewolves, the Laffer Curve--you know, sheer lunacy.

Of course, this list should include zombies.

I mean, what's crazier than zombies?

Recently, however, I've been forced to reevaluate my thoughts on the undead, rising from their graves to consume human flesh.

You see, I watched some footage of Trump rallies, and, well...

There can be no other rational explanation for the brain dead, foaming at the mouth crowd that our Traitor in Chief unfailingly attracts.

They are all zombies. Honestly, what else could they be?

Friday, August 9, 2019

No More Thoughts, No More Prayers

What's the point, really?

Thoughts and prayers do nothing for the dead. And very little, if anything, for their survivors

They might conceivably make the person "thinking and praying" feel a little better...but honestly what use is that?

None.

What we desperately need is action. Background checks, waiting periods, a ban on military style weapons, no guns for the mentally ill, a national gun registry, limits on ammunition sales--all permissible under the "well regulated" clause of the Second Amendment--there are many things we could do.

All of which are, unfortunately, things that #MoscowMitch McConnell is unwilling to allow.

Action might offend his "backers" and by "backers" I mean owners.

One of Moscow's owners, the NRA, doesn't want any kind of limitations on guns--despite 90% of Americans wanting, indeed demanding, them.

But....don't hold your breath.

Because #MoscowMitch knows which side his bread is buttered on. Besides, his other owners, the Russians, are no doubt enjoying the chaos our national gun fetish has unleashed.

So, let's all just sit back and wait for the next massacre...shouldn't be too long...