The 7 Deadly Sins Personified

Shall we go down the list?

Yes! Let's.

1. Pride: one who boasts of being a "stable genius", who has never admitted to a single failing--despite an amazingly long list of failings, who claims to be the "greatest" without a drop of evidence, who slaps his name on everything he can, and in big GOLD letters, too, might be said to have an excess of pride.

2. Envy: when the chief goal of your every working hour seemingly consists of dismantling anything that your predecessor did, or claiming his achievements as your own, you might be just a little envious of him. And, really, why not? He was intelligent, honest, capable, attractive, funny--in short, everything you aren't.

3. Gluttony: please pass the fast food and ketchup. And then stand back! Stand way, way, back. You don't get that fat without some serious effort.

4. Lust: do we even have to go there? Although, I must say, the barely contained, overwhelming desire for his eldest daughter is the cherry on top.

5. Anger: him get angry! Him get oh so angry when the peoples mock him. Oh, and the peoples, at least the sentient ones, do mock him. Him the world's largest snowflake.

6. Greed: when his era is over, after the White House has been ritually scourged, better count the silverware. And audit all of his expenses. 'Cuz the man would steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes.

7. Sloth: the one saving grace he has is that he's just too damn lazy to even attempt much governing. I mean, honestly, who has the time? There's a gold toilet to sit on whilst he tweets his constant stream of lies, distortions, and foolish nonsense. Then it's time to watch Fox News, followed by a greasy snack and a lengthy nap. Repeat as necessary.

The 7 Deadly Sins personified: if that isn't a perfect description of Donald J. Trump, then nothing is.