Him was scared!
The evil demonstrators frightened him!
Him cowered in his bunker!
The fires frightened him!
Him was even too scared to tweet!!!!
But then, from somewhere in the rotting orange husk of his flabby body where, in a human, the heart would normally be, he summoned what passes for Cadet Bone Spurs' courage, and he called for the military!
HIS military!
And suddenly he was Truman dropping the H-Bomb, Nixon bombing Cambodia, Reagan--The Lion of Granada, W. invading the wrong country!
He was all of them and even more...or less, depending on your point of view.
And a grateful nation will once again rest easy.
As the cops and soldier boys happily roam free through the streets of America, shooting whomever they'd like.
Because, let's face it, many of them signed up for just this kind of opportunity.
And, like they say, let God sort out the guilty from the innocent.
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