Mostly, We Are Afraid Of The Wrong Things

Right now, for instance, we are supposed to be afraid of transvestites, or transsexuals, or Transylvanians, in the rest rooms.

This is so stupid, that I'm not going to comment on it further.

We're also supposed to be deathly afraid of Muslims. You are much more likely to be killed by a gun lovin', road raging, All American cracker, than you are by a Muslim.

If you listen to the Republican candidate--or any Republican candidate, for that matter--white Americans are in existential danger from "the other". "Them". And "them" usually means non-whites.

Now, I understand the karmic appeal of that reasoning.

After all, what goes around sometimes does come around.

And White Americans do have a lot to answer for.

But still...

There are more than enough existential threats without making shit up.

Unlimited money in politics is an existential threat to democracy. One party whole heartedly supports it.

Climate change is an existential threat to mankind. And the latest data show that it is happening much faster than we thought. One party denies that it even exists.

One party spends its time sniffing around public restrooms. One party tries to insert itself into women's most personal issues. One party has chosen a compulsively lying, fraudulent, loose cannon egomaniac as its presidential candidate.

One party does whatever it can to make sure that government does not work for everyone.

You should probably be afraid that the "government does not work" party might one day control every branch of our government.

Rats Swimming Towards A Burning Ship

The SS Trump (funny how Trump and SS go together, ain't it?) is a smoldering mass of burning shit...

And yet it's still yooge and wonderful and beautiful and the best!

And that's why it is attracting so many...oh... let's say rats!

And I don't mean the cute ones like in Ratatouille, either.

I mean the Plague carrying kind.

The latest vermin to jump on board is Sheldon "Shelly The Red Dye Job" Adelson.

Shelly is a noted supporter of all things Israel (well, all right wing Zionist things Israel) and a casino owner of some renown. His Macau casino is under investigation for bribery, and his Las Vegas casino is full of scabs, but Shelly stills makes a lot of money, and that's all that counts. Right? Right!

Shelly joins other noted vermin including Arizona Sheriff Joe "Get The Mexicans!" Arpaio, former Arizona Governor Jan "Why Yes I Am Delusional" Brewer, and New Jersey Governor Chris "Pass The Donuts" Christie on the poop deck of the flaming Trump.

Though steerage is starting to fill up with various KKK Klowns, other White Supremacists, xenophobes, misogynists, homophobes, gun nutz, climate change deniers, lunatic butlers, and the rest of the Republican base there are still luxury first class cabins reserved for GOP movers and shakers.

It's a very large ship, in fact it is yooge, and there's still plenty of room for more. Bring your checkbook!

A Really Successful Liar...

...sticks with the lie.

That's it? It sounds too simple.

Oh, but it's harder than it sounds. Most people will fold under pressure--especially when they're caught in a lie.

But your really successful liar doesn't fold. If anything, he or she doubles down.

Look at an expert: Kim Philby, one of the Cambridge spies. Fucker was suspected years before he was caught. But he didn't fold. In fact, he was so indignant and adamant about his innocence that the Brits figured he must be telling the truth. As a result, he got to keep on lying for a long time.

So Donald J. Trump, nee Drumpf, he of the short fingers and vulgarity, persists with lie after lie after lie...

He's gotten away with fabrications and falsehoods for so long. Maybe he believes them. Maybe he doesn't. At this point that doesn't really matter. 

It doesn't matter too his true believers, either...which is sort of the point.

No, to be a really successful liar, all that matters is that you stick with the lie come hell or high water.

Pigs Fly

We've all witnessed this at some time in our lives.

Guy is in a bar, or at work, or some family thing.

Guy is being a boorish, loud, ass-clown.

Just when you think he can't get any worse...he gets worse.

Saying and doing stupid, repulsive, outlandish stuff.

Crazy stuff.

Then...he goes just a little too far...

It gets real quiet. And suddenly, the ass-clown realizes, if only briefly, what he's doing.

And he stops. He may even reverse his course, at least momentarily. Might even apologize. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

Now, he's still an ass-clown at heart. And he always will be.

But, just for an instant, he did or said the right thing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Arizona State Legislature and their abrupt change of course regarding KidsCare.

Wonder of wonders, they did the right thing!!!!!

And all it took was the loud disgust of, well, practically everyone else in the state.

Not to worry though. They will soon be back to their usual business of fucking over students, the poor, and minorities.

Because while pigs may sometimes fly, they're still pigs.

Same Old Same Old

So the goodly, God fearing Republicans who control the Arizona legislature have labored mightily on the state's budget, and decided the best course of action is to, big surprise here, fuck over the weakest amongst us.

There will be no help from the great state of Arziona for poor, sick children. Just not economically feasible--even though the Feds pay for it. It sends the wrong message. It's a matter of principle, dammit!

Really, the decision wasn't that hard...

See, kids can't vote, after all. And poor people don't contribute to political campaigns. And poor kids...well, you can see where this is going.

So...it was a no brainer.

(Fill in your own joke here about Arizona Republicans and "no brains")

Now, if you ask these goodly, God fearing people, they would happily, and no doubt loudly, proclaim their Christian beliefs.

Which should make you want to VOMIT.

Anyway, don't expect our esteemed governor, Doug "Cup or Wafflecone" Ducey, who is to all appearances a wholly owned subsidiary of the Koch Brothers, to do anything about this.

Because if there's one thing Doug Ducey knows, it's which side his white bread is buttered on.

The Dream Team

So loser Ted Cruz thinks having other loser Carly Fiorina as a running mate on his hypothetical ticket will attract...what exactly?

Fiorina, of course, was a giant of industry, who laid off 30,000 employees, nearly wrecked "her" company, and yet famously floated away on a golden parachute woven from many millions of Yankee Greenbacks and the tears of the terminated.

She also has a chronic habit of telling lies, lies and more lies...

Come to think of it, that makes her a nearly perfect Republican.

Teddy Boy is a truly despicable human being, one of those religious hypocrites who wrap themselves in Jesus at the drop of a hat, a dime store Machiavelli with the charm of a snake oil salesman.

Since almost everybody in D.C. hates him, and with good reason, he's looking for something, anything, to give his slumping campaign a little bump.

And he must think that having Carly by his side will help push him past The Great and Powerful Trumpo and his horde of "low information" followers.

I'm sorry, but while it is true that Ted and Carly were made for each other, I'm afraid that boat has sailed...

However, there is still time to get a reality series out of this thing.

How does The Laughable Candidates of the GOP sound?

Somebody call BRAVO!

The State Where I Live...

Thinks it would be a good idea to mine uranium close to the Grand Canyon.

Also thinks it would be a good idea to build condos by the Canyon, because natural wonders are assets and all assets need to be monetized, don't ya know?

Cuts taxes and hopes for the best.

Had its last state wide election decided almost entirely by Dark Money. Lots and lots of it for such a minor state. So dark corporate money decided who would be on the commission that regulates corporations. Beautiful!

Won't do anything to stop the flow of Dark Money. Because, you know, money is speech and speech is protected by the Constitution! Plus, everybody likes money! The more the merrier.

Cuts taxes and hopes for the best.

Vilifies the weakest among us. And yet couldn't function from day to day without them.

Attracts the kind of employers who pay subsistence wages with no benefits.

Cuts taxes and hopes for the best.

Elected an ice cream salesman to be governor (with the help of lots of Dark Money, of course!) Because, you know, free enterprise/run government like a business!

Screws the public schools on a daily basis, year in and year out.  And then blames the teachers for the problem.

Cuts taxes and hopes for the best.

Had to be sued to force the state to adequately fund the public schools.

Is currently exploring ways to steal from itself to pay this debt to the public schools. Rather, of course, than simply raising taxes.

Because, well, you know...

Cuts taxes and hopes for the best!