Is This Really A Good Idea?

Since we are being relentlessly urged by about a billion ads every day to BET ON SPORTS-it's fun-it's easy-everyone is doing it--perhaps we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves,

"Is this really a good idea?"

Because, and let's be brutally honest here, many (if not most) Americans are mathematically illiterate.

If you don't believe me, watch someone try to make change without an electronic aid of some kind. It's very entertaining. 

Things like probability theory, vigorish, odds formats, etc. are way beyond most people.

But even more important, in the long run, the house always ends up winning. That's why casinos have huge chandeliers, and dancing waters, free drinks, and Britney Spears appearing nightly in the Main Room. And you don't.

Regarding a casino's relationship with its customers, I'm reminded of a line from a W.C. Fields' movie. During a card game Fields is asked "Is this a game of chance?" He responds, "Not the way I play it, no." 

(By the way, it takes a real fucking idiot to bankrupt a casino. They are designed to make money, after all. Guess who bankrupted a couple of casinos? Yeah. Lil Donnie Trump. Probably too busy laundering some Russian's money to pay attention.)

Of course, now you don't even have to leave the comfort of your home to lose.  Forget the free drinks and dancing waters. Forget Britney Spears. Just pick up your cell phone and start placing bets!

You may win once. You may even win twice. But eventually you will lose. And lose. And lose again.*

I think they better add a couple of phone lines at Gamblers Anonymous.

To continually encourage people to get mixed up in this borders on madness.

And to use wealthy celebrities, who can afford to lose large sums, to encourage we commoners to get mixed up in this borders on the criminal.

But, what the hell? It's a free country and like they say, "a fool and his money will soon be parted". 

Even while seated in his Lazy Boy, with an energy drink in one hand, and a bowl of chips nearby.

*Sure, there are "professional" gamblers. They make a living at it. They study everything, every angle. It's their job, after all. But they lose, too, sometimes. And there are just a few of them in a nation of nearly 400 million people. You like those odds?

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

In a land chock full of people who glory in their Christianity and profess their love of Jesus and all he stood for--many while using use him and the Bible like a cudgel against the rest of us--isn't it curious that any attempt to help the poor and sick is immediately shouted down as SOCIALISM?

Paid family leave? SOCIALISM!

Universal health care? SOCIALISM!

Hot lunch programs? SOCIALISM!

Day care? SOCIALISM!

After school programs? SOCIALISM!

Free Community College? SOCIALISM!

Student debt relief? SOCIALISM!

Progressive taxation? SOCIALISM! 

Living Wage? SOCIALISM!

So, it seems that the reason we can't have nice things is that a large number of us have a fundamental belief that the poor can never be made to suffer enough.

I'm not sure which book of the Bible that's in, but it must be somewhere. Right?

More importantly, it is the chief operating principle of one of our two main political parties.

Random Thoughts On A Lovely Autumn Day

Why does Tucker Carlson always look constipated? Hasn't he heard about laxatives? Or is just that he's so constantly, totally, full of shit that nothing will help?

Republicans don't want to do away with racism. They want to do away with teaching about racism. And that will make it all better.

It's a shame that Don the Builder couldn't get any infrastructure bills passed in 4 very long years. Imagine all of the Mob concrete and Polish scab laborers he could've used. #SAD.

A note to all of the anti-masker/anti-vaxxers who like to confront people: sooner or later you're going to pick on the wrong person and you're going to get seriously hurt or maybe even killed. Hopefully someone will be on hand to film it.

In a just world, the next Republican to quote Martin Luther King Jr. would burst into flames.

Is it really such a tragedy that the vast majority of people now dying from CoVid are Red State Loons? Is it?

What kind of people keep re-electing Paul Gosar? What has he ever done for his district? What legislation has he proposed to help Arizona, let alone the country? He's an idiot, a racist, a liar, and, most importantly, a traitor. I can only assume that his supporters have all of those characteristics as well.

Why some professional athletes, who have without a doubt been injected with all sorts of goodies by team doctors, for pain, for healing, for performance, should now balk at a simple poke in the arm to keep them and those around them safe from a deadly disease, is one of the great mysteries of the modern world.

There is no cure for stupid. And when you mix it with ego, it can be deadly.

WTF?!

The other day there were a number of, oh, let's call them QAnon fuckheads, waiting in Dealey Plaza, Dallas for JFK, Jr. to show up.

That's right. That Dealey Plaza.

That's right. That JFK Jr.

And after that apparently un-dead Kennedy made his miraculous appearance, then he and Traitor Trump would ride together in glory and reclaim the White House from the baby blood drinking usurper Biden.

You really can't make this shit up. It's so far past satire and parody that it cannot be classified as anything but stark, raving, frothing at the mouth, madness.

SPOILER ALERT: Guess what? Junior didn't show--being dead dead dead and all.

But, not to worry QAnon faithful!  You probably just got the date wrong. Calendars are such tricky things! And numbers can be so confusing! Keep the faith!

After the "rising from the dead" or "faked his death" bit, I'm not really sure what the next craziest aspect of this whole scenario is. But somewhere high on the list is the idea that JFK Jr. would have anything at all to do with Donald J. Trump.

I am really sure that the most frightening aspect is that a not insubstantial number of retards* actually believe this shit.

*(Yeah, I know, we're not supposed to say "retards" anymore. But, let's be honest, sometimes it's the only word that works.)

My White Replacement Theory

Here is a partial list of some "whites" that should be "replaced" ASAP.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump's 3 oldest children and their spouses

Rupert Murdoch

Tucker Carlson

Sean Hannity

Laura Ingraham

Mark Levin

Every Republican Senator and Congressperson (I realize that a couple of these are people of color--but being in the Republican Party means they have willingly forfeited any claims they might have to being black or brown and are no doubt considered honorary whites by their fellow Republicans, so...)

Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema

Everybody who whines about Critical Race Theory without any understanding of what it is

Every hillbilly with a soft spot for the Stars and Bars

Every gun nut

Every Libertarian billionaire

Every anti-vaxxer

Every televangelist

All of these people could be very easily replaced by either a wad of dryer lint or a medium size pile of horse shit.

No one who matters would miss them and the country would immediately be so much better off.

"The Nearest Run Thing You Ever Saw In Your LIfe"

The title of this post is a quote from the Duke of Wellington about the Battle of Waterloo.

I take it to mean that, if one or two minor things had or hadn't happened, Napoleon would have won.

And the history of Europe would have been very different.

The margin for error was just that thin. 

The more we learn about the January 6th insurrection, the more clearly we see that it was also a "nearest run thing."

You might think that a lifetime of bankruptcies, business failures, divorces, and indictments would have taught Donald J. Trump how to accept defeat. 

Au contraire. 

The King of the MAGAts had a plan to overturn the election. A 6 point plan, put together by the kind of lawyers that attach themselves to people like Donald J. Trump, i.e. the sleaziest kind.

And, if one or two things had gone his way...

Our democracy is just that fragile. 

The Founders anticipated many things.  They did not anticipate something like Donald J. Trump, with a hand picked Supreme Court, and a political party so afraid of him that it would be willing to trash the Constitution just to keep him happy.

By the way, Mike Pence really deserves no credit for ultimately not going along with the plan. He searched and searched and searched for a way to do what his Master wanted.

Finally, apparently after consulting with another half-wit Hoosier former Veep, he did the right thing, the only thing he legally could do.

(And, naturally, was then threatened with death by Traitor Don's traitorous followers.)

When the fate of your democracy rests on the Constitutional wisdom of Dan Quayle, you have truly dodged a bullet.

So The Ivermectin Didn't Work, Huh?

Hmmm. Who could have imagined that a veterinary treatment for de-worming horses wouldn't work for an airborne corona virus in people? Strange that.

You're still sick, and getting sicker. What to do, what to do?

Do not go to the hospital! They're kinda crowded right now, anyway. Remember, you don't trust doctors and their so-called "science". And their fancy vaccines.

So what if they've proved effective for literally hundreds of millions of people. You're a free citizen. Not a sheep. You will not be forced into any Deep State/Bill Gates/George Soros vaccine genocide!

(Forget for a second that the entire Trump family has been vaccinated. And so has everyone at Fox News. And probably every Republican member of Congress, too.)

You've done a lot of "research" on the Internet and you're pretty sure you know more about this than any "expert". Your body. Your choice.

If the horse paste didn't work there must be another way...

Do not despair. Do not worry. There are a multitude of other "cures" that the Deep State doesn't want you to know about:

Prayer. Pray really hard and really long and, if Jesus truly loves you, He and His Dad will probably save you. And if They don't, well, that just shows you're not worthy.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other veterinary ointments, serums, drugs, etc. Make what remains of your life one probably not too long experiment. (I was going to say "science" experiment, but that might frighten the target audience.)

(By the way, has it occurred to these people that veterinarians are doctors, too? They went to a form of Med school. They use the science they learned there every fucking day. On animals.)

The old Roman method of dealing with unfortunate events. Draw a nice, warm bath. Sit in it comfortably while with a straight razor you open the veins in both wrists. I'm told this really doesn't hurt much. "Turn off your mind, relax, and float down stream. It is not dying..." Well, actually it is dying. But at least you'll no longer have to suffer in this socialist hellhole. Am I right?!

For those without a bathtub, a plastic bag over the head, tightly taped around the neck, is not nearly as elegant as the Roman method, nor as painless, but ultimately just as effective.

Finally, don't forget about Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson. You probably have a bunch of different calibers to choose from. Buy American! Go out with a bang! Own the Libs!