Monday, December 22, 2014

Hey, What Happened?

I thought we were all supposed to be dead from Ebola by now? That's what they said on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. That we were all going to die because Obama hates white people and Ebola is his way of getting back at us for slavery. And if we didn't quarantine all of West Africa, we'd all be dead by Thanksgiving!

And what about ISIS/ISIL? It was neck and neck whether we would die from Ebola before ISIS/ISIL cut off our heads because Obama, that secret Muslim, was such a lousy, weak leader, and because he detests America so much he had opened the door for his brethren to sneak in and kill us while we slept!

And gasoline was supposed to be 6, 7 maybe even 8 dollars a gallon because of Obama's stupid energy policies! But it isn't and it wasn't and...what's the deal on that?

And the economy was supposed to collapse under the threat of that Kenyan's anti-colonial socialism, yet the stock market keeps setting records and more jobs have been created than in George W. Bush's entire presidency. That can't be possible, can it?

And remember how Putin was a three dimensional chess master while poor Barack was still shooting marbles, poorly, somewhere in a Nairobi alley? And how excited the right got about manly, manly Vladimir the Stud Dictator? Jeez, it was almost like they're genetically wired to worship totalitarianism...How'd that turn out again?

This is madness I tells ya, madness! I just don't know who to believe...

I guess the good news is that we can stop worrying about climate change, and those anti-business loons over at the EPA, because noted climate scientist and oil company cuddly toy Senator Jim Inhofe is in charge of things now and he says there's no such thing as man made climate change.

Whew, we sure dodged a bullet there.

Also, and this is very important, according to a majority of our Supreme Court, and everyone at Fox News, too, we live in a post racial society now, where everyone is judged by the contents of their character, and not by the color of their skin. And therefore, the police only shoot criminals, and not just any black person who they feel threatened or disrespected, by.

Wow, that's a relief!

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