Sunday, October 16, 2016

The Donald J. Trump Guide To Dating

1) Apply excessive amount of cologne and gobble a handful of tic-tacs.

2) Lock the doors.

3) Check your hair.

4) Show her your wallet.

5) Force her into a corner.

6) Get geopolitical. You know, Russian hands and Roman fingers. Amirite?

7) Show her your wallet again.

8) Check your hair.

9) Unlock the doors.

10) Make her leave.

11) Re-apply cologne.

12) Check your hair.

13) Deny everything.

14) Buy something nice for whatever number wife you're on.

15) Repeat as necessary.

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