Hello!
Person of color? Gosh, how did you get in here? I mean, are you sure this is where you want to be? Really?
Billionaire? Thanks for coming! That big table up front is reserved just for you!
Female? In the back, please.
Gay? "Closeted" or "out"? "Closeted" sit near the front. "Out" please get to the back, by the women.
Idiot? We certainly need as many of you as we can get! The more the merrier, in fact! But don't sit too near the billionaires. It bothers them. They're very sensitive.
Homophobe? See those idiots over there? That's right. Sit with them.
Rapist? Hmmm. Who did you rape, male or female? Female? Over here. Male? Uh, gee. Over there I guess. With the clergy.
Criminal? White collar? Sit near the billionaires. Other crimes? Wherever there's an open seat. Remember to mingle.
Racist? Sit wherever you want! That goes for you, too, gun nuts and fundamentalists.
But please save some seats for our Russian friends. After all, they paid for most of this.
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