'Tis the season of this politician or that harping on the terrifically onerous burden we all face of "making the hard choices."
Hard choices?
Let's see, should we continue putting the squeeze on the poor and middle class or raise taxes on millionaires and billionaires? Hmmm.
How about Federal subsidies for ridiculously profitable oil companies? Maybe we should send that money to the green energy side of the ledger instead?
What makes more sense, cutting a few hundred billion from the Pentagon or eliminating Head Start and the hot lunch program for school kids? Redundant arms systems or Pell Grants?
Make it easier for corporations to ship jobs overseas or harder?
Leave a few hundred thousand troops in Iraq and Afghanistan or start to rebuild America's infrastructure?
Hand Social Security over to the thieves on Wall Street or simply raise the existing wage limits to insure its solvency forever?
Leave your healthcare at the mercy of the "for profit" insurance companies or replace what we have with a single payer, Medicare for all system?
See, for a sane and honest person, these aren't "hard" choices at all.
Ahh, "sane and honest", there's the rub...
Monday, September 12, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
If it was good enough then, ......
Perhaps my favorite thing about watching President Obama's speech tonight was seeing John Boehner visibly cringe every single time that Obama pointed out that he is proposing in his jobs package things that Republicans have proposed in the past.
Down Memory Lane
Gee, it's funny what we remember and what we don't.
I'd forgotten how insufferably smug Peggy Noonan is...
I wonder who they'll roll out next. Is Ollie North still alive? Does the uniform still fit?
I'd forgotten how insufferably smug Peggy Noonan is...
I wonder who they'll roll out next. Is Ollie North still alive? Does the uniform still fit?
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Great Debate--A Preview
And now, live from the Ronald Reagan Crypt in Seamy Valley:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Republican presidential candidate debate. I'm your moderator--"
"It's all Obama's fault!"
"Liberal!"
"Liberal!"
"Socialist!"
"Kenyan Socialist!"
"Black man!"
"Cut taxes!"
(applause)
"Yes, well, I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that late--"
"Cut taxes!"
"Cut taxes!"
"Cut more taxes!"
"Shouldn't even be taxes!"
(applause)
"Alright. Let's begin by asking each of the candidates to--"
"Cut taxes."
"Cut taxes on the rich!"
"Cut taxes on the rich and the corporations!"
"That's what I meant! And let me just add that I love this country!"
"Amen!"
(lengthy applause)
"Uh huh. Let's take a moment and talk about Global warming and its potential effect--"
"No such thing!"
"No such thing!"
"God's will!"
"Obama's fault!
"Cut taxes!"
(thunderous applause)
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Republican presidential candidate debate. I'm your moderator--"
"It's all Obama's fault!"
"Liberal!"
"Liberal!"
"Socialist!"
"Kenyan Socialist!"
"Black man!"
"Cut taxes!"
(applause)
"Yes, well, I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that late--"
"Cut taxes!"
"Cut taxes!"
"Cut more taxes!"
"Shouldn't even be taxes!"
(applause)
"Alright. Let's begin by asking each of the candidates to--"
"Cut taxes."
"Cut taxes on the rich!"
"Cut taxes on the rich and the corporations!"
"That's what I meant! And let me just add that I love this country!"
"Amen!"
(lengthy applause)
"Uh huh. Let's take a moment and talk about Global warming and its potential effect--"
"No such thing!"
"No such thing!"
"God's will!"
"Obama's fault!
"Cut taxes!"
(thunderous applause)
Rick Perry's America--A Preview
Hey Kids! You too can be a pragmatic, conservative, business friendly Republican governor--just like Rick Perry!!! It's as easy as 1-2-3!!!
1) cut the funding for Texas's volunteer fire departments by 75%.
(Extra credit if you can figure out a way to funnel this money to your corporate friends.)
2) pray that there aren't any fires.
3) after that doesn't work, and by the way HAS IT EVER WORKED?, and a good chunk of Texas is in flames, scream about the Federal government's slow response.
(Yes, this would be the same Federal government that you don't want interfering with Texas...)
Next week: how to execute innocent people for fun and profit!!!
1) cut the funding for Texas's volunteer fire departments by 75%.
(Extra credit if you can figure out a way to funnel this money to your corporate friends.)
2) pray that there aren't any fires.
3) after that doesn't work, and by the way HAS IT EVER WORKED?, and a good chunk of Texas is in flames, scream about the Federal government's slow response.
(Yes, this would be the same Federal government that you don't want interfering with Texas...)
Next week: how to execute innocent people for fun and profit!!!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Coffee Talk
I'm sure, like me, you spent Labor Day wondering what a very rich guy thought about the State of the American Union, 2011.
Well, lo and behold, our prayers have already been answered!
Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, where they put all the mystery and randomness of the universe into every cappuccino, (consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds and has no place in the $5.95 cup of coffee business), took some of the enormous pile of money he's made from the aforementioned $5.95 cups of coffee and bought a full page ad in the Sunday New York Times to discuss what's wrong, with this, the greatest nation on the face of the earth.
And, wonder of wonders, it's that ole devil "partisan politics." That's right, President Obama and the Democrats and the Republican "loyal" opposition need to set aside this partisan bickering and get down to making America great again.
Yes, he really said that. This only proves that you can make lots and lots of money and still be something of a naive goof.
It gives the impression that each side is equally guilty of "partisan politics", which is a load of crap. The phrase "false equivalency" comes to mind.
Every single proposal the President has made for the last 32 months--even those proposals that were initially Republican ideas--has been stonewalled, filibustered, distorted--whatever, by the Republicans and a few of their kissin' cousins, the Blue Dog Democrats.
That is not simple "partisanship". That is a concerted, scorched earth effort to destroy the President, and the country be damned.
The house is on fire. Side A wants to find ways to put it out. Side B wants to watch it burn, so they can blame Side A. Both sides have opinions and objectives, but that doesn't make them equivalent.
I cannot image a more conciliatory man than Barack Obama. To many of us it appears to be his greatest weakness. But even if it turns out to be his greatest strength, to imply that he has been equally partisan and therefore equally to blame is just plain stupid.
Well, lo and behold, our prayers have already been answered!
Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, where they put all the mystery and randomness of the universe into every cappuccino, (consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds and has no place in the $5.95 cup of coffee business), took some of the enormous pile of money he's made from the aforementioned $5.95 cups of coffee and bought a full page ad in the Sunday New York Times to discuss what's wrong, with this, the greatest nation on the face of the earth.
And, wonder of wonders, it's that ole devil "partisan politics." That's right, President Obama and the Democrats and the Republican "loyal" opposition need to set aside this partisan bickering and get down to making America great again.
Yes, he really said that. This only proves that you can make lots and lots of money and still be something of a naive goof.
It gives the impression that each side is equally guilty of "partisan politics", which is a load of crap. The phrase "false equivalency" comes to mind.
Every single proposal the President has made for the last 32 months--even those proposals that were initially Republican ideas--has been stonewalled, filibustered, distorted--whatever, by the Republicans and a few of their kissin' cousins, the Blue Dog Democrats.
That is not simple "partisanship". That is a concerted, scorched earth effort to destroy the President, and the country be damned.
The house is on fire. Side A wants to find ways to put it out. Side B wants to watch it burn, so they can blame Side A. Both sides have opinions and objectives, but that doesn't make them equivalent.
I cannot image a more conciliatory man than Barack Obama. To many of us it appears to be his greatest weakness. But even if it turns out to be his greatest strength, to imply that he has been equally partisan and therefore equally to blame is just plain stupid.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
They Must Think You're Stupid
Let's assume for the sake of argument that Simple W. got his way and Social Security was privatized in, say, 2005-2006. What do you suppose would have happened to all of that money in the great Wall Street meltdown of 2008?
Would Baby Jesus have come down and magically saved all the old folks' pensions?
Uh huh. That's exactly what would have happened! And they all lived happily ever after...
But those wicked socialist Democrats wouldn't let Simple W. and all the rest of the the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight get their slimy hands on Social Security. So there was no need for divine intervention, and even though the economy crashed and burned, and millions of people suffered, there was at least some form of safety net for the most vulnerable of our citizens.
Time passes. People forget. 2008 was such a long time ago. Not to mention 1929. Who was this FDR guy again? Weren't things so much better when Reagan was President? Who's on Dancing With the Stars and what are the Kardashians up to?
There is much discontent across the land because President Obama hasn't been able to wave a magic wand and fix everything that his predecessor messed up. Also he's, well, black. And that doesn't sit well with the large number of Americans who are still living in the toxic past.
Lies become a kind of currency and an oxymoron-ic chant is heard across the land, "Keep your government hands off of my Medicare!" Wait. What?!
"Corporations are people! They have the right to unlimited free speech!" Huh?! "The Supreme Court says so!" Well, OK then.
Besides, didn't Lincoln say "of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations"? I'm pretty sure he did--I think I heard it on Fox News.
In the confusion, the billionaire owners of the country see a chance to finally destroy the pesky labor movement. "Those damn union workers have been stealing from us all these years! And all those annoying government regulations? They're stifling growth! Tell you what, let us do whatever we want to the air and water and soil, and maybe we'll give you a job. Deal?"
As the chaos continues, the really big brains of the Republican Party are back again with their "let's privatize Social Security" mantra. Because, to quote the great bank robber Willie Sutton, "that's where the money is." And we're talking about a lot of money. Imagine the broker commissions! Imagine the campaign contributions to Republican candidates! Tax deductible, of course.
And the beauty of it, at least from a satirist's point of view, is that there are people who listen to them and nod their empty heads and say "Yeah! What a great idea!"
Would Baby Jesus have come down and magically saved all the old folks' pensions?
Uh huh. That's exactly what would have happened! And they all lived happily ever after...
But those wicked socialist Democrats wouldn't let Simple W. and all the rest of the the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight get their slimy hands on Social Security. So there was no need for divine intervention, and even though the economy crashed and burned, and millions of people suffered, there was at least some form of safety net for the most vulnerable of our citizens.
Time passes. People forget. 2008 was such a long time ago. Not to mention 1929. Who was this FDR guy again? Weren't things so much better when Reagan was President? Who's on Dancing With the Stars and what are the Kardashians up to?
There is much discontent across the land because President Obama hasn't been able to wave a magic wand and fix everything that his predecessor messed up. Also he's, well, black. And that doesn't sit well with the large number of Americans who are still living in the toxic past.
Lies become a kind of currency and an oxymoron-ic chant is heard across the land, "Keep your government hands off of my Medicare!" Wait. What?!
"Corporations are people! They have the right to unlimited free speech!" Huh?! "The Supreme Court says so!" Well, OK then.
Besides, didn't Lincoln say "of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations"? I'm pretty sure he did--I think I heard it on Fox News.
In the confusion, the billionaire owners of the country see a chance to finally destroy the pesky labor movement. "Those damn union workers have been stealing from us all these years! And all those annoying government regulations? They're stifling growth! Tell you what, let us do whatever we want to the air and water and soil, and maybe we'll give you a job. Deal?"
As the chaos continues, the really big brains of the Republican Party are back again with their "let's privatize Social Security" mantra. Because, to quote the great bank robber Willie Sutton, "that's where the money is." And we're talking about a lot of money. Imagine the broker commissions! Imagine the campaign contributions to Republican candidates! Tax deductible, of course.
And the beauty of it, at least from a satirist's point of view, is that there are people who listen to them and nod their empty heads and say "Yeah! What a great idea!"
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