Hey Kids! You too can be a pragmatic, conservative, business friendly Republican governor--just like Rick Perry!!! It's as easy as 1-2-3!!!
1) cut the funding for Texas's volunteer fire departments by 75%.
(Extra credit if you can figure out a way to funnel this money to your corporate friends.)
2) pray that there aren't any fires.
3) after that doesn't work, and by the way HAS IT EVER WORKED?, and a good chunk of Texas is in flames, scream about the Federal government's slow response.
(Yes, this would be the same Federal government that you don't want interfering with Texas...)
Next week: how to execute innocent people for fun and profit!!!
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