If President Obama thinks dealing with the Republicans is a nightmare, imagine what he thinks about dealing with Israel and the Palestinians...
The problem with even talking about Israel and the Palestinians is that you really can't do it honestly. If you do and you're Jewish you're labeled a 'self-hating' Jew and if you do and you're not Jewish you're labeled an anti-Semite.
Because to be honest about Israel is to point out the many faults and failures of its government and that is strictly forbidden. Israel is infallible. To doubt that, to question that, means that you want to destroy the Jewish people's homeland. And The Holocaust is the moral trump card.
"Never forget."
But do forget about the bombing of the King David hotel in 1946, because only Arabs are terrorists. Forget about the bulldozing of Palestinian settlements, because 'God gave us this land', an argument which should be treated as a fairy tale, but isn't. Forget that Jerusalem is considered a holy city by Muslims and Christians, too. And always, always, forget that the Palestinians had inhabited the land continuously for over 1200 years.
Forget also that the plan from Day 1 has been to try and force all of the Arabs out of Israel and to expand the boundaries until all of ancient Judea is under Jewish control. This is not something I made up--it is taken directly from the words of the Zionists who first began to repopulate Palestine in the late 1800's, on through Ben Gurion and the formation of modern Israel in 1948, and up to today's Likud party. They never had any intention of sharing 'their' land with the Palestinians.
The facts on the ground are what they are and the past is unchangeable. Atrocities have been committed by both sides. Israel isn't going away--and neither are the Palestinians. But the truth is still a good place to start in any negotiation.
Because, as Gandhi reminded us, 'an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.'
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Welcome Wagon
Le tout Phoenix is all abuzz with the rumor that Sarah Palin is buying a house in Scottsdale in preparation for a run at the the Senate seat Jon "Not Intended As A Factual Statement" Kyl is vacating. Be still my beating heart!!!
First things first: Sarah Palin doesn't know anything about Arizona or its problems. She might be able to find the state on a map. And then again she might not. But you can always hire someone to do that, right? The important thing is that she's Sarah Palin!! Good ideas don't matter, qualifications don't matter, intelligence certainly doesn't matter--remember this is Arizona.
Besides, these are trivial concerns, because even a well formed turd has a good shot at getting elected to the Senate from the Grand Canyon state IF they're a Republican. Why? Because the GOP has done so much for the people of Arizona! I mean, really, what an impressive list of accomplishments: always near the bottom in education; massive cuts to AHCCCS; laughable mass transit; institutionalized low wages; sold off the government buildings; closed the state parks; turned a corrupt tin badge blowhard, Joe Arpaio, into a demi-god; demonized the Mexicans; ostracized the poor; constantly vilified teachers while glorifying bankers; and on and on and on.
Of course, it's a time honored tradition in some circles to look for a seat that's open in a 'safe' district somewhere--anywhere--and then quickly establish residency in time to run for office. The sainted John "Maverick Is His Name" McCain did it many years ago. And I'm sure in a dark, musty dungeon somewhere there's a team of trusty GOP trolls just waiting to claim Robert Kennedy did exactly the same thing when he moved to New York to run for the Senate after leaving the Attorney General's office. (Kennedy comparisons are the Republican's automatic fallback position for everything, especially moral issues. References to Teddy and Chappaquiddick still bring shivers of joy to any true blue GOPer. However heinous the transgression of a Republican, the mere mention of "Chappaquiddick" washes away all sins. It's magic.)
Rest assured, however, if a Democratic carpetbagger showed up (and why any real Democrat without existing ties to Arizona would move to the state is beyond me), the locals would scream bloody murder and demand an investigation. I think the word I'm looking for is "hypocrite". But without the various kinds of hypocrisy there would be no modern Republican Party and then where would we be?
So welcome aboard the "You betcha-wink-wink" express...
First things first: Sarah Palin doesn't know anything about Arizona or its problems. She might be able to find the state on a map. And then again she might not. But you can always hire someone to do that, right? The important thing is that she's Sarah Palin!! Good ideas don't matter, qualifications don't matter, intelligence certainly doesn't matter--remember this is Arizona.
Besides, these are trivial concerns, because even a well formed turd has a good shot at getting elected to the Senate from the Grand Canyon state IF they're a Republican. Why? Because the GOP has done so much for the people of Arizona! I mean, really, what an impressive list of accomplishments: always near the bottom in education; massive cuts to AHCCCS; laughable mass transit; institutionalized low wages; sold off the government buildings; closed the state parks; turned a corrupt tin badge blowhard, Joe Arpaio, into a demi-god; demonized the Mexicans; ostracized the poor; constantly vilified teachers while glorifying bankers; and on and on and on.
Of course, it's a time honored tradition in some circles to look for a seat that's open in a 'safe' district somewhere--anywhere--and then quickly establish residency in time to run for office. The sainted John "Maverick Is His Name" McCain did it many years ago. And I'm sure in a dark, musty dungeon somewhere there's a team of trusty GOP trolls just waiting to claim Robert Kennedy did exactly the same thing when he moved to New York to run for the Senate after leaving the Attorney General's office. (Kennedy comparisons are the Republican's automatic fallback position for everything, especially moral issues. References to Teddy and Chappaquiddick still bring shivers of joy to any true blue GOPer. However heinous the transgression of a Republican, the mere mention of "Chappaquiddick" washes away all sins. It's magic.)
Rest assured, however, if a Democratic carpetbagger showed up (and why any real Democrat without existing ties to Arizona would move to the state is beyond me), the locals would scream bloody murder and demand an investigation. I think the word I'm looking for is "hypocrite". But without the various kinds of hypocrisy there would be no modern Republican Party and then where would we be?
So welcome aboard the "You betcha-wink-wink" express...
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Crawling from the Wreckage
The NBA playoffs are a perfect example of why I never, ever, ever bet on sports.
It's not because I haven't devoted enough time studying them; in fact, I probably spent too much time. I should have spent more time learning something useful, like Mandarin for instance, and less time reading various Sports pages and blogs...
No, it's because, as William Goldman once famously remarked about the motion picture industry, "nobody knows anything."
Nobody* knew the Lakers would fall apart like a cardboard suitcase and end up taking cheap shots at everybody they could throw an elbow at. Classy.
Nobody* knew the Mavs would actually be better with Caron Butler out for the year.
Nobody* knew Dirk Nowitzki would suddenly morph into some kind of Teutonic Larry Bird. Sure he had great offensive skills, but all of a sudden he has the cold blooded heart of an assassin to go with them.
Nobody* knew the Thunder would panic at the end of every game. For their sake, let's hope it was just the nerves of youth and not some deep seated pathology. Westbrook is just a kid, after all. It'll be a few more years before we know for sure whether or not he carries the deadly Stephon Marbury, "me first" gene.
As far as the Heat go, and I'm assuming they'll finish off the Bulls eventually if only because I'm rooting for the Bulls, everybody knew they could be great, but nobody but their immediate families and the people of Miami wants them to be great.
I haven't enjoyed watching a Pat Riley team play, (and whoever their coach is, Miami is Pat Riley's team), since the Showtime Lakers. His Knicks were like a roving gang of muggers who played the ugliest basketball I've ever seen. The Heat are infinitely more skilled, but that whole 'taking my talents to South Beach' circus left a bad taste in my mouth. LeBron James is a great player, but I find it very hard to like him.
The Mavs seem to have an edge on the inside, the Heat on the wings. Miami is faster and more athletic, Dallas better in the half court. Miami has more superstars, but Dallas has a deeper bench. And so on and so forth...I guess we'll see how tough Dirk really is, because the Heat will beat him up for 48 minutes every game. (That's the way the Eastern Conference team always plays.) Meanwhile, LeBron will crash through the middle like Lawrence Taylor chasing Joe Theismann, with nary a whistle to be heard. And so, once again, the championship of the NBA may be decided by how many fouls are or are not called...
* With the possible exception of Charles Barkley, whose commentary has been the most consistently entertaining thing about the playoffs...
It's not because I haven't devoted enough time studying them; in fact, I probably spent too much time. I should have spent more time learning something useful, like Mandarin for instance, and less time reading various Sports pages and blogs...
No, it's because, as William Goldman once famously remarked about the motion picture industry, "nobody knows anything."
Nobody* knew the Lakers would fall apart like a cardboard suitcase and end up taking cheap shots at everybody they could throw an elbow at. Classy.
Nobody* knew the Mavs would actually be better with Caron Butler out for the year.
Nobody* knew Dirk Nowitzki would suddenly morph into some kind of Teutonic Larry Bird. Sure he had great offensive skills, but all of a sudden he has the cold blooded heart of an assassin to go with them.
Nobody* knew the Thunder would panic at the end of every game. For their sake, let's hope it was just the nerves of youth and not some deep seated pathology. Westbrook is just a kid, after all. It'll be a few more years before we know for sure whether or not he carries the deadly Stephon Marbury, "me first" gene.
As far as the Heat go, and I'm assuming they'll finish off the Bulls eventually if only because I'm rooting for the Bulls, everybody knew they could be great, but nobody but their immediate families and the people of Miami wants them to be great.
I haven't enjoyed watching a Pat Riley team play, (and whoever their coach is, Miami is Pat Riley's team), since the Showtime Lakers. His Knicks were like a roving gang of muggers who played the ugliest basketball I've ever seen. The Heat are infinitely more skilled, but that whole 'taking my talents to South Beach' circus left a bad taste in my mouth. LeBron James is a great player, but I find it very hard to like him.
The Mavs seem to have an edge on the inside, the Heat on the wings. Miami is faster and more athletic, Dallas better in the half court. Miami has more superstars, but Dallas has a deeper bench. And so on and so forth...I guess we'll see how tough Dirk really is, because the Heat will beat him up for 48 minutes every game. (That's the way the Eastern Conference team always plays.) Meanwhile, LeBron will crash through the middle like Lawrence Taylor chasing Joe Theismann, with nary a whistle to be heard. And so, once again, the championship of the NBA may be decided by how many fouls are or are not called...
* With the possible exception of Charles Barkley, whose commentary has been the most consistently entertaining thing about the playoffs...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's All Show Biz
In the theatre, where I happily misspent much of my youth, there's a thing called the "willing suspension of disbelief." What this means is, that while you're watching a play, you accept its particular conceits. So, even though you're not actually in an English country home, for instance, for the duration of that particular play, you 'accept' that you are. That really isn't Burnham woods, Cordelia didn't just die, etc etc etc. But for those two hours or so, what you are watching must be 'real' to you. Those are not actors acting, they are in fact the characters they're pretending to be.
I mention this because we just witnessed a 'willing suspension of disbelief' of a different nature.
A good number of our fellow citizens were convinced that the world was going to end May 21st. They based this on the word of a radio evangelist. Not an astrophysicist, not an epidemiologist, not even Kreskin. No, a guy on the radio who asks them to send him money so that he can do the Lord's work...Some of them quit their jobs, packed up the kids and drove cross country to be closer to their oracle when the big day came. And what happened? Nothing, of course.
"He must have misread the Bible" is the explanation one of his followers gave. Uh huh.
Well, no harm no foul, right?
Not exactly. You see, the difference is that after a theatrical performance, no matter how engrossing it might be, we return instantly to reality. But after a religious performance, no matter how ridiculous it might be, some people continue to believe, and indeed live their lives based on these beliefs.
Now you might think that that sort of lunacy is their business and I'd be willing to agree with you except that many of these religious zealots seem determined to make the rest of us live by their rules--rules found in, to use Gore Vidal's memorable description, "the holy book of a Bronze Age nomadic tribe as re-interpreted by a group of world weary Greeks" 1900 years ago.
So, until the Rapture hits, and takes them to that Great Big Afterparty in the Sky, they want to make sure that we're all living by whatever nonsensical guidelines they can find in 'their' book. And since you can find justification for almost anything in 'their' book, that puts the rest of us, the reasonably sane if you will, at a disadvantage.
I mention this because we just witnessed a 'willing suspension of disbelief' of a different nature.
A good number of our fellow citizens were convinced that the world was going to end May 21st. They based this on the word of a radio evangelist. Not an astrophysicist, not an epidemiologist, not even Kreskin. No, a guy on the radio who asks them to send him money so that he can do the Lord's work...Some of them quit their jobs, packed up the kids and drove cross country to be closer to their oracle when the big day came. And what happened? Nothing, of course.
"He must have misread the Bible" is the explanation one of his followers gave. Uh huh.
Well, no harm no foul, right?
Not exactly. You see, the difference is that after a theatrical performance, no matter how engrossing it might be, we return instantly to reality. But after a religious performance, no matter how ridiculous it might be, some people continue to believe, and indeed live their lives based on these beliefs.
Now you might think that that sort of lunacy is their business and I'd be willing to agree with you except that many of these religious zealots seem determined to make the rest of us live by their rules--rules found in, to use Gore Vidal's memorable description, "the holy book of a Bronze Age nomadic tribe as re-interpreted by a group of world weary Greeks" 1900 years ago.
So, until the Rapture hits, and takes them to that Great Big Afterparty in the Sky, they want to make sure that we're all living by whatever nonsensical guidelines they can find in 'their' book. And since you can find justification for almost anything in 'their' book, that puts the rest of us, the reasonably sane if you will, at a disadvantage.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Poor Relations
Coming from a Republican politician, other than calling someone a 'liberal', there is no epithet more damning than 'elitist'. Elitists go to Ivy League universities and are usually progressive in their thinking. Elitists are often 'intellectuals' (another bad word!). Elitists don't understand the 'real people', and certainly don't share their 'values'. In fact, elitists treat 'real people' with condescension. Elitists are what is wrong with America. They are the root of all the evils that have befallen us.
With this in mind, I wonder how today's Republicans can reconcile their professed feelings about elitists with what we know about the Founding Fathers?
Thomas Jefferson? Elitist. John Adams? Elitist. George Washington? Elitist. Madison, Mason, Hancock, and even the illegitimate Hamilton? Elitists all. Old Ben Franklin, who was the epitome of a self-made man and contemptuous of aristocrats, still feared the chaos of a mob and believed in a natural aristocracy based on merit. Elitist.
This may come as a shock to some of you, but our nation was founded by a relatively small group of elite men. None of them were saints. Many were tainted by a deep seated devotion and belief in the institution of slavery. But flaws and all, do you really think any of them would have anything but contempt for Palin, Bachmann, Paul, Ryan, Romney, and the rest of those grifters, liars, cranks, and clowns? How far would Sister Sarah's 'you betcha's' get her in a political discussion with Madison? What would happen if either of the Paul's tried to run their Ayn Rand crap by Ben Franklin? And Hamilton would dispose of the 'free marketeers' with a contemptuous laugh. In general, when dummies start talking to extremely smart people, even though it can be very entertaining for awhile, it never ends well for the dummy.
(To be fair, Jefferson might give Newt Gingrich a job as an overseer, depending on how well he could handle a bullwhip. But that doesn't mean that Newty would be welcome at the master's dinner table.)
With this in mind, I wonder how today's Republicans can reconcile their professed feelings about elitists with what we know about the Founding Fathers?
Thomas Jefferson? Elitist. John Adams? Elitist. George Washington? Elitist. Madison, Mason, Hancock, and even the illegitimate Hamilton? Elitists all. Old Ben Franklin, who was the epitome of a self-made man and contemptuous of aristocrats, still feared the chaos of a mob and believed in a natural aristocracy based on merit. Elitist.
This may come as a shock to some of you, but our nation was founded by a relatively small group of elite men. None of them were saints. Many were tainted by a deep seated devotion and belief in the institution of slavery. But flaws and all, do you really think any of them would have anything but contempt for Palin, Bachmann, Paul, Ryan, Romney, and the rest of those grifters, liars, cranks, and clowns? How far would Sister Sarah's 'you betcha's' get her in a political discussion with Madison? What would happen if either of the Paul's tried to run their Ayn Rand crap by Ben Franklin? And Hamilton would dispose of the 'free marketeers' with a contemptuous laugh. In general, when dummies start talking to extremely smart people, even though it can be very entertaining for awhile, it never ends well for the dummy.
(To be fair, Jefferson might give Newt Gingrich a job as an overseer, depending on how well he could handle a bullwhip. But that doesn't mean that Newty would be welcome at the master's dinner table.)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The Afterlife
You still here? Me too.
Shit.
It's not that I was hoping for the Rapture. No, what I was hoping for is that all those goofs who believe in the Rapture would somehow or other be spirited away. Now that would be a miracle. But once again, religion has let us all down...
Admit it, the world would be a much nicer place without them and their superstitious mumbo jumbo. Oh well, maybe next time...
On to more pressing matters. Do you think the Reverend Whatchamacallit would be willing to pay for all the charges I rang up in the expectation that, what with the world ending, I'd never get the bill? I understand he's got about $75 million he's sitting on, and I've got a pretty strong suspicion that it's not all earmarked for feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless, so why not send a little my way? After all, it would be the Christian thing to do...
Shit.
It's not that I was hoping for the Rapture. No, what I was hoping for is that all those goofs who believe in the Rapture would somehow or other be spirited away. Now that would be a miracle. But once again, religion has let us all down...
Admit it, the world would be a much nicer place without them and their superstitious mumbo jumbo. Oh well, maybe next time...
On to more pressing matters. Do you think the Reverend Whatchamacallit would be willing to pay for all the charges I rang up in the expectation that, what with the world ending, I'd never get the bill? I understand he's got about $75 million he's sitting on, and I've got a pretty strong suspicion that it's not all earmarked for feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless, so why not send a little my way? After all, it would be the Christian thing to do...
Friday, May 20, 2011
End Times 'R Us
Apparently the world is going to end tomorrow night. Why am I always the last person to hear about these things? What, you didn't think it was important enough to tell me earlier? You didn't want to bother me?
Here I thought we had until 2012 before the big Mayan gong sounded and we're all vaporized. But no, it's tomorrow. On a Saturday, too, just to ruin your weekend...
Word of our impending doom comes from, you guessed it, a crazy old white male Christian. Big surprise there, huh? I'm not going to waste any of my precious time googling his name, but suffice it to say he's made millions of dollars frightening the other hillbillies. "The earth will be rent apart, the righteous dead will rise up to heaven, the unsaved will be thrown into the sulfurous pit and blah blah blah."
The Reverend Whatchamacallit has made this prediction once before, and when it didn't come true then, he blamed some faulty calculations he'd made. This reinforces my belief that we need to do something about Senior Adult education in this country. To give him the benefit of the doubt, reading the entrails of a goat has never been an exact science. However, this time he's gone through the Book of Revelations with a fine tooth comb and an Aramaic to English dictionary, and he's sure of his dates, so I suppose that means I'll be seeing most of you in Hell very soon. You know who you are.
However, before any of the unpleasantness starts, I'm off in search of the best Bordeaux I can find and a well marbled, medium rare ribeye, and yes I do want both sour cream and lots of butter with my baked potato and two scoops of ice cream with my pie, and what the hell, a large, strong Irish coffee to relax with afterwards. Our time is short and precious, but I do have one last word for you--just in case the world does end tomorrow: Don't waste a minute of your remaining few hours seeing the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It is quite simply one of the worst movies I've ever seen and believe me I've seen some bad ones. And you sure don't want to start either the Rapture or Eternal Damnation with that piece of crap being one of your last memories of earth. Millions of dollars, loads of talented people and no one remembered to write a coherent, entertaining story. When Keith Richards has the best line in a movie you know something has gone terribly wrong. And Johnny Depp has wrung every last drop of charm out of Captain Jack Sparrow and it's well past time to put him to rest. But really what difference does any of that make? The world is ending tomorrow....no time for rewrites.
Anyway, it's been fun and I hope you get whatever you prayed for...adios.
Here I thought we had until 2012 before the big Mayan gong sounded and we're all vaporized. But no, it's tomorrow. On a Saturday, too, just to ruin your weekend...
Word of our impending doom comes from, you guessed it, a crazy old white male Christian. Big surprise there, huh? I'm not going to waste any of my precious time googling his name, but suffice it to say he's made millions of dollars frightening the other hillbillies. "The earth will be rent apart, the righteous dead will rise up to heaven, the unsaved will be thrown into the sulfurous pit and blah blah blah."
The Reverend Whatchamacallit has made this prediction once before, and when it didn't come true then, he blamed some faulty calculations he'd made. This reinforces my belief that we need to do something about Senior Adult education in this country. To give him the benefit of the doubt, reading the entrails of a goat has never been an exact science. However, this time he's gone through the Book of Revelations with a fine tooth comb and an Aramaic to English dictionary, and he's sure of his dates, so I suppose that means I'll be seeing most of you in Hell very soon. You know who you are.
However, before any of the unpleasantness starts, I'm off in search of the best Bordeaux I can find and a well marbled, medium rare ribeye, and yes I do want both sour cream and lots of butter with my baked potato and two scoops of ice cream with my pie, and what the hell, a large, strong Irish coffee to relax with afterwards. Our time is short and precious, but I do have one last word for you--just in case the world does end tomorrow: Don't waste a minute of your remaining few hours seeing the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It is quite simply one of the worst movies I've ever seen and believe me I've seen some bad ones. And you sure don't want to start either the Rapture or Eternal Damnation with that piece of crap being one of your last memories of earth. Millions of dollars, loads of talented people and no one remembered to write a coherent, entertaining story. When Keith Richards has the best line in a movie you know something has gone terribly wrong. And Johnny Depp has wrung every last drop of charm out of Captain Jack Sparrow and it's well past time to put him to rest. But really what difference does any of that make? The world is ending tomorrow....no time for rewrites.
Anyway, it's been fun and I hope you get whatever you prayed for...adios.
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