If...(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If we're going to forcibly sterilize "undesirables", shouldn't we start with the Trump family?

If Republican policies are what Americans really want, how come they can't win a national election without cheating?

If there truly were a "Bay of Pigs" award, would it commemorate how a bunch of Cubans who got run off the island by Castro tried to go back and got their asses handed to them again?

If you want to know the difference between Republican men and Republican women it's really very simple. The women wear slightly less cologne.

If you're a cop and you gun down a black woman in her bedroom, make sure you don't let any stray bullets go into a neighbor's dwelling. Otherwise you might get in trouble.

If Joseph Goebbels ever came back he'd have his own prime time show on Fox News.

If you take away hypocrisy, what else does a Republican candidate have? Oh yeah, racism, greed and stupidity. So, glass half full.

Macho Man?

So Donald J. Trump is playing the song "Macho Man" at his "rallies", i.e. those Trump-oholic love fests where his base of mouth breathing, racist, imbeciles gather to worship at the "stable genius's" feet.

For those of you not old enough to recall, "Macho Man" was a tongue in cheek ditty performed by the Village People, a gay centric singing group popular in the disco years.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

However, we should pause for a moment and consider the idea of Donald J. Trump being a "macho" man:

He spends a lot of time in his tanning booth and/or putting orange tinted makeup on his face. To make him look tanned and rested, I suppose. Though the effect is more "circus clown in a hurry." Come to think of it,  what does he have to rest from? I guess tweeting, watching Fox News, and eating junk food can be exhausting to some. And trying to remember what lie you're telling must take a lot out of a fella.

He spends even more time on what passes for his "hair". So, in his mind's eye, he can still seem as "sexy" and "virile" as he was in his "prime", which was approximately 45 years ago.

He wears shoes with kitten heels. To make him look as tall as he claims to be and less morbidly obese than he is. He hopes to achieve the same effect with that clownishly long red tie.

Some people are saying that he also wears a corset underneath the XXXXXL blue suit. I don't know. But some people are saying it. So it must be true, right?

Add it all up and then ask yourself "Is this macho?"

13 Excuses When Your Trump Boat Sinks

1. Too many MAGA flags.

2. Too many MAGAts on board.

3. AntiFa submarines.

4. Didn't understand how water works. Waves? Wakes? It's all so complicated! 

5. Black Lives Matter sank it.

6. But her emails!

7. Obama's fault.

8. Sea Monsters! Ai-yee!

9. It's obviously a Deep State conspiracy. 

10. Somali pirates.

11. God's Will.

12. I'm an idiot.

13. Karma (see number 12).

"Suckers" And "Losers"

Shocked! 

Shocked that our Traitor in Chief would say something callous and heartless and cruel about veterans.

Just kidding.

Not shocked. Not surprised.

The Trump years have left us all numb.  

The flood of horseshit has been so constant, so overwhelming, that at some point even the most vigilant among us have thrown up their hands and turned to the bottle.

Every day has brought another outrage, another affront. Sometimes every hour.

He has shit on the Constitution, he has shit on our laws, he has shit on Barack Obama, he has shit on countless Black Americans, he has shit on women, he has shit on John McCain--both while he was alive and after his death, he has shit on all of our oldest allies, he has shit on Gold Star families, he has shit on just about everything and everyone. 

Except his boss, V. Putin, of course. And his base of low functioning idiots, too.

So, no, it's not surprising that Cadet Bone Spurs would shit all over every American who has ever served in our military.  

They just weren't "smart" enough--or rich enough--to weasel out like he did. They didn't understand that money is everything--the only thing that truly matters--like he does.

"Suckers" and "Losers"?  

The only suckers and losers that I can see are the sad fools who continue to support those large chunks of human garbage known as Donald J. Trump and his scum family.

Other Martha McSally Fundraising Ideas

You have by now, no doubt, skipped one meal and sent the money saved to Martha McSally--just like she asked.

However, sadly, that may not be enough!

It's becoming harder and harder for miserable right wing hacks to get all of the money they need to run a successful campaign. 

Despite what you may have heard, lies are not cheap these days--especially when you use them in bulk. And the Russians only have so much money.

So....Martha needs more help, i.e. dollars, and here are some ideas on how to get them for her:

Rob a liquor store. CoVid has led to more people drinking at home. So, liquor stores are flush right now! And Martha really needs you. What's a potential few years in jail if it means you helped Martha? Don't be selfish.

Steal from your family. I understand this is very popular in some quarters. And honestly, does Grandma really need all of that dough? I mean, what's she going to spend it on? Doilies? Tea? Come on, Grandma! Time to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about Martha McSally.

Stand on the corner with a sloppily lettered sign. Thanks to Der Trump's fantastic stewardship of the economy during the pandemic, the corners are getting very crowded. But there's always room for one more. And when they hear that you're doing it for Martha McSally, the real beggars will stand aside.

Remember, like all Republicans, Martha doesn't care where the money comes from, as long as it keeps on coming.

Get busy!

Random Thoughts On A Ridiculously Hot Day

Since "Global Warming" is just another of those Chinese hoaxes that are so popular with our fearless leader, this string of 110 degree plus days that we're living through in Phoenix must just be another socialist plot--right?

Anyway, the extreme heat makes things a little crazy, and our thoughts turn to...

If you have enough money to start your own space program, you have too much money.

Maybe this, and by "this" I mean the Trump Abomination, will stop, once and for all, that "run government like a business...we need a businessman in charge" nonsense. Maybe. 

We should never underestimate the ability of the Republican Party to repackage the same old horse shit in a shiny new box.

It's very, very, very hard to get to excited about major league baseball when it's played under these conditions. Basketball seems to have pulled off its restart with a modicum of verisimilitude, but all those tens of thousands of empty seats in the baseball stadiums, dotted with the occasional CGI fans, are just sad. Maybe they should just cut and paste the front cover of the Sgt. Pepper's album everywhere? That would be fun, at least for awhile. Plus, I'm pretty sure that they're using a juiced ball again...

Is every Republican in Congress either a twink or a female impersonator?

There is no point in trying to convince any remaining die hard Trump supporters about the error in their ways. Don't waste your time or your breath. If, after all of the damage that "man" and his Republican enablers have done to this country over the last few years, they still follow him blindly over whatever cliff he's headed toward, they are past redemption. Just like those Germans in the Spring of 1945 who were convinced that the Big Guy would turn it around any day now, they are True Believers and they will go to their graves believing the Big Lie(s).

Always remember, "Greater love hath no man" than that he would leave his brother's death bed to get in a quick 18 holes.

We will get through this madness, somehow, but what we will look like on the other side is at this point unknowable.

Demon Sperm? That Would Explain A LOT...

So Donald J. Trump has found himself a doctor he believes.

She happens to be just a little crazy, but hey, baby steps.

And, honestly, what else would you expect from our Orange Pig God? Sound medical advice? What, are you crazy, too?

To be fair, the concept of Demon Sperm makes a kind of sense.

How better to explain Trump and his entire worthless family of dweebs and grifters?

And Moscow Mitch McConnell. And Mike Pence. And Roger Stone. And almost everyone at Fox News. And Rush Limbaugh. And Jim Jeffords. And Louie Gohmert. And Rand Paul. And...

Golly, the list of the spawn of Demon Sperm is long and twisted, and almost completely Republican/Libertarian.

Go figure.

And we mustn't forget all of those "you can't tell me what to do!" MAGAts that refuse to wear masks because of what can only be called Free Dumb.

Yes, this Demon Sperm thing does explain a lot about the USA in 2020.