metatag

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Remember This: They Will Lie

Living in poor, stupid, Arizona, I've been inundated with Martha McSally television ads.

Normally I record everything so I can fast forward through every ad, political and otherwise. 

Life is too short, ya know?

But sometimes, during a live sports event, for instance, that isn't possible.

And I've come to a simple conclusion:

Nowadays, being a Republican requires that you lie as easily as you breathe.

And it seemingly doesn't matter that your lies are easily disprovable by anyone with a semi-functioning brain.

For example, there are records of every vote McSally has cast. And yet, in her ads, she claims to have voted otherwise.

The record shows she has voted against Medicare, Social Security, and insuring pre-existing conditions.

It's right there in black and white.

Her ads, however, when they aren't telling outright lies about her opponent, Mark Kelly, claim that she voted for all of those things rather than against all of them.

In fact, if you weren't aware of her record, you would think that she was a champion of people with pre-existing conditions. And that Kelly was some sort of crooked stooge of the Chinese.

You know, like our Traitor-in-Chief and his daughter/wife Ivanka.

It's breathtaking, that ability to LIE so often, so completely. 

It's downright Trumpian.

Again, if you are stupid enough to fall for it, you're going to get what you deserve.

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Amy Coney Barrett Orders An Ice Cream Cone

Clerk: Yes ma'am?

ACB: I would like to order an ice cream.

Clerk: Yes ma'am. What flavor?

ACB: So many to choose from.

Clerk: Yes there are. But you must have a favorite. 

ACB: At this time I am not prepared to offer an opinion. 

Clerk: But--

ACB: Each flavor must be judged individually, based on the original intention of its maker.

Clerk: What?

ACB: I cannot announce any choice that I might or might not make regarding any, or for that matter, all ice creams, until I have weighed the intent.

Clerk: Uh huh. You must have a favorite, though. 

ACB: Whether I do, or don't, cannot be determined until such time as I am confronted with arguments from all sides.

Clerk: Arguments? It's just ice cream, lady. Surely you have a--

ACB: I have no preconceptions regarding any flavor of ice cream. I just want to adhere to the original intent of the ice cream makers.

Clerk: Uh huh. "The original intent of the ice cream makers." I haven't heard that one before.

ACB: I believe that it is impossible for any person of reason to choose anything without understanding its makers' original intent.

Clerk: I'm pretty sure they just wanted to make something that tastes good that people will like.

ACB: And what is your source for that belief?

Clerk: Just a wild guess. Maybe if we just narrowed it down to vanilla and chocolate?

ACB: Fine flavors both. There is established precedent for both.

Clerk: Good. We're making progress. How about a scoop of creamy, snow white Vanilla?

ACB: I would never choose, or not choose, an ice cream based on color. That would be wrong.

Clerk: OK. A scoop of rich, dark Chocolate then?

ACB: Hmm. I don't know. There are merits to both. And demerits as well. Until I have further information, from all available sources, I'm afraid I must delay announcing my decision.

Clerk: Next in line, please!

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Is There ANYONE Associated With This Administration Who ISN'T A Criminal?

Uh...apparently not.

Are there ANY Republicans in Congress who aren't in Russia's pocket?

Maybe. One or two.

Do we really want all of those Catholics on the Supreme Court? 

No. At least not the "Baby Jesus weeps for fetuses" kind. If they're the "shut the fuck up and mind your own goddamn business" kind, then...maybe. But those are few and far between in public life. So, let's just go with "NO", ok?

Do they have Presidential suites at Federal prisons?

Hopefully we will find out very soon.


Friday, September 25, 2020

If...(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If we're going to forcibly sterilize "undesirables", shouldn't we start with the Trump family?

If Republican policies are what Americans really want, how come they can't win a national election without cheating?

If there truly were a "Bay of Pigs" award, would it commemorate how a bunch of Cubans who got run off the island by Castro tried to go back and got their asses handed to them again?

If you want to know the difference between Republican men and Republican women it's really very simple. The women wear slightly less cologne.

If you're a cop and you gun down a black woman in her bedroom, make sure you don't let any stray bullets go into a neighbor's dwelling. Otherwise you might get in trouble.

If Joseph Goebbels ever came back he'd have his own prime time show on Fox News.

If you take away hypocrisy, what else does a Republican candidate have? Oh yeah, racism, greed and stupidity. So, glass half full.


Thursday, September 17, 2020

Macho Man?

So Donald J. Trump is playing the song "Macho Man" at his "rallies", i.e. those Trump-oholic love fests where his base of mouth breathing, racist, imbeciles gather to worship at the "stable genius's" feet.

For those of you not old enough to recall, "Macho Man" was a tongue in cheek ditty performed by the Village People, a gay centric singing group popular in the disco years.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

However, we should pause for a moment and consider the idea of Donald J. Trump being a "macho" man:

He spends a lot of time in his tanning booth and/or putting orange tinted makeup on his face. To make him look tanned and rested, I suppose. Though the effect is more "circus clown in a hurry." Come to think of it,  what does he have to rest from? I guess tweeting, watching Fox News, and eating junk food can be exhausting to some. And trying to remember what lie you're telling must take a lot out of a fella.

He spends even more time on what passes for his "hair". So, in his mind's eye, he can still seem as "sexy" and "virile" as he was in his "prime", which was approximately 45 years ago.

He wears shoes with kitten heels. To make him look as tall as he claims to be and less morbidly obese than he is. He hopes to achieve the same effect with that clownishly long red tie.

Some people are saying that he also wears a corset underneath the XXXXXL blue suit. I don't know. But some people are saying it. So it must be true, right?

Add it all up and then ask yourself "Is this macho?"


Thursday, September 10, 2020

13 Excuses When Your Trump Boat Sinks

1. Too many MAGA flags.

2. Too many MAGAts on board.

3. AntiFa submarines.

4. Didn't understand how water works. Waves? Wakes? It's all so complicated! 

5. Black Lives Matter sank it.

6. But her emails!

7. Obama's fault.

8. Sea Monsters! Ai-yee!

9. It's obviously a Deep State conspiracy. 

10. Somali pirates.

11. God's Will.

12. I'm an idiot.

13. Karma (see number 12).

Saturday, September 5, 2020

"Suckers" And "Losers"

Shocked! 

Shocked that our Traitor in Chief would say something callous and heartless and cruel about veterans.

Just kidding.

Not shocked. Not surprised.

The Trump years have left us all numb.  

The flood of horseshit has been so constant, so overwhelming, that at some point even the most vigilant among us have thrown up their hands and turned to the bottle.

Every day has brought another outrage, another affront. Sometimes every hour.

He has shit on the Constitution, he has shit on our laws, he has shit on Barack Obama, he has shit on countless Black Americans, he has shit on women, he has shit on John McCain--both while he was alive and after his death, he has shit on all of our oldest allies, he has shit on Gold Star families, he has shit on just about everything and everyone

Except his boss, V. Putin, of course. And his base of low functioning idiots, too.

So, no, it's not surprising that Cadet Bone Spurs would shit all over every American who has ever served in our military.  

They just weren't "smart" enough--or rich enough--to weasel out like he did. They didn't understand that money is everything--the only thing that truly matters--like he does.

"Suckers" and "Losers"?  

The only suckers and losers that I can see are the sad fools who continue to support those large chunks of human garbage known as Donald J. Trump and his scum family.