Sunday, July 31, 2011

All Haircut, No Cattle

Rick Perry, the governor of Texas, who briefly floated the idea of secession, until someone pointed out to him that without Federal money Texas would resemble one of the poorer states of Mexico, is now flirting with the idea of running for president in 2012.

You may recall that our last experience with having a Texas governor as President of the United States wasn't a particularly happy one. Unless you were a billionaire or a war profiteer, that is. But try to forget that for just a moment, and let's give Mr. P a chance to tell us what he believes in.

He believes that the Federal stimulus was a "$4 trillion rat hole". He's got his numbers wrong, of course. (He is a Republican after all.) And there are a few million people in the auto industry and related fields that might disagree about the usefulness of the stimulus. Here's a fun fact: Rick Perry's own state used Federal money to balance its budget and avoid a financial disaster. But don't bother the "guvnah" with facts, y'all. As any faithful Fox News listener will tell you, using facts is just a cheap liberal trick.

Perry also believes in states' rights. Big surprise there. However, like all truly patriotic, God fearing Republicans, if a state's citizens should decide that they favor gay marriage, or reproductive rights for women, or medical marijuana, then Ricky would favor federal legislation to thwart that state's will. Because Mr. Jesus doesn't want those things and Mr. Jesus trumps everything.

Yes, you guessed it, Rick Perry is a conduit of God, another Christian warrior determined to lead us down the path of righteousness. As he perceives it.

Haven't you heard, America should be a theocracy! That's what the Founders intended. Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, Hamilton, Madison--they all spent their time praying--not thinking.

You might think that having one card carrying Crazy Jesus Club member running would be enough for any political party, but not the Republicans. They may have given up on that "Big Tent" crap, but it's still a wide trough. So Michele Bachmann and all the rest, say hello to Rick Perry!

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