INTERIOR: the chambers of the Chief Justice of the United States' Supreme Court--day
[John Roberts, an insignificant man in a black robe, stands before a full length mirror]
Roberts: Well, today's the big day! Yep, the big day. Obamacare, heh heh heh. Frankly, I don't see what the big deal is. I think liberals just like to complain about things. I'm very happy with my health insurance, and so is everyone I know. Scalia, and Alito, and Thomas. And sometimes Kennedy. You never can tell with him. It's something, though, to hold the fate of millions of people in your hands. Makes me kind of giddy.
[A 3 headed devil, bearing a remarkable resemblance to Rush Limbaugh and the Koch brothers, appears on his right shoulder]
Devil: You know what you have to do, don't you?
Roberts: Yes, Master. I do.
Devil: Just like Citizens United.
Roberts: Yes, Master.
Devil: This will finally be the end of our first--and last--black President.
Roberts: Yes, Master.
[An angel, who is the spitting image of Abe Lincoln, appears on his left shoulder]
Angel: Now John, you don't really want to do that, do you?
Roberts: Who are you?
Angel: I'm the better angel of your nature.
Devil: Shut up!!
Roberts: I didn't know I had one.
Angel: Oh John, we all do. It's just hidden in some people.
Devil: Shut the fuck up!!
Angel: John, don't pay any attention to them. They're living in the past and we're talking about the future. The future. Listen, do you really want to be remembered as the biggest asshole in the history of the Supreme Court?
Roberts: I thought that was Scalia.
Angel: Besides him I mean.
Roberts: No! No, I don't!
Angel: Good, there's hope for you yet.
Devil: God damn it!
[The 3 headed devil disappears in a puff of smoke. The angel chuckles and then he, too, disappears]
Roberts: The better angel of my nature. Wow!
[Roberts brushes the dandruff off his shoulders, and exits]
Fade to black
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