Chief of Staff: Steve "Even Sewer Scum Thinks I'm Awful" Bannon.
Secretary of State: Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin. Of course, that's only if Putin is too busy to do the job.
Attorney General: Jeff "If'n You Want To Start A Race War, I'm Yer Peckerwood" Sessions. I guess we're not going to "throw her in jail" now, are we? There's still a very long enemies list to get through.
National Security Advisor: General Michael "Kill Anyone Who Doesn't Love Jesus" Flynn.
Secretary of Defense: John "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Iran" McCain. I know they've had their differences, but surely they can agree on nuking some folks, can't they? The Chickenhawk and the Professional POW. Sounds like a great buddy movie.
Department of Homeland Security: Milwaukee County Sheriff David "Constitution? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Constitution" Clarke. See, he's black so that means they're not racists, right? Yes, he is black, but the old, ugly phrase "house ni**er" comes to mind.
Secretary of the Interior: Is James Watt dead? If so, then whomever the Koch brothers want will do. We've got a lot of federal lands to despoil. Those National Parks aren't going to privatize themselves!
Secretaries of Education, Energy, Housing and Urban Development, Health and Human Services: you're kidding, right?
And of course, since Trump will need all the help he can get, there will have to be some new positions:
Minister of Misinformation: Roger Ailes.
Minister of Culture: Ted Nugent.
Minister of Bile: Rudy "Frothing at the Mouth" Guiliani. Naturally, he has to be cleared for rabies first.
Minister of Truly Bad Ideas: John "Anyone Who Listens To Me Is A Fool" Bolton. Regime change? In
Iran? Beautiful. It's good to see Bolton hasn't lost a step.
Minister(s) of Internal Compliance: All those armed Trump supporters can take turns keeping the rest of us, the majority by the way, in line.
Gonna be a fun 4 years.
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