God's Will

Listen up all of you fundamentalists.

Who are you going to trust?

A bunch of stupid so called "experts" and a bunch of godless scientists?

Or Jesus Christ and his number one chosen boy, Donald J. Trump?

Only a heathen would "stay at home" and follow some stupid social distancing guidelines designed to take away your right to congregate at the church of your choice.

Fuck that shit!

Rise up! Gather together in His name!

No virus is going to stop you! No siree!

No "laws of man" are going to stop you either!

Rub against each other. Writhe about on the floor. Sweat and shout in His name. Bunch together in holy piles. Those of you with snakes--and you know who you are--kiss those snakes!

And don't forget to bring a covered dish to share.

His might will protect you from some stupid virus.

And if it doesn't, well...that's God's Will, too. Right?

Jesus and Trump both want you to worship them. And none of that quiet, namby-pamby, stay at home worship, either.

No, they want, they demand, that all out, balls to the wall, hysterical caterwauling that you're just dying to deliver.

So get to it!

You've followed them this far, right?

Might as well follow them into the abyss.