Monday, January 25, 2016

Learn To Talk Like Sarah Palin

It's really not that hard.

First get altered in some way: you know, stoned, drunk, repeated blows to the head, or simply physically restrict the flow of oxygen to your brain.

Then it's just like ordering Chinese food. Take one from column A, one from column B, and so on.

Column A: Mama Grizzly, Drill Baby Drill, Obama, Lame Stream Media, etc

Column B: Gonna, You betcha, thinkin', hope-y change-y, etc.

Column C: Death panels, ISIS, Putin, mom pants, etc.

Toss them all together, add a few knowing winks, a couple of dog whistles, and an idiotic giggle.

Finally, try to rhyme as many things as you a very, very simple child begging for attention from the grownups.

Then stand back and watch the money flow in from your fellow simpletons who think you're one of them, and therefore "genuine".

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