Monday, September 19, 2011

Wil Cardon Is Just Another Republican Putz

And here I thought I'd have a nice, peaceful Monday. The Cardinals lost, which is always a good thing. (Nothing against the players or the coaches, but as long as the Bidwills own the team I wish a pox upon them.)

Most of the teams I care about are doing well, thank you very much. The weather is finally breaking, our son is safely back in school, Mrs. Franklin is in good humor, nothing aches too badly, and all is reasonably right with my world.

Of course, it couldn't last...Today's Arizona Republic brings another of its wretched My Turn pieces.

This one comes from someone or something called Wil Cardon. He is, naturally, a Republican businessman, a self described "jobs creator" from Mesa (of course), and he is running for the U.S. Senate. (insert your own joke here.)

Remember when, in the dewy naivete of our youth, we honestly believed that the Senate was full of qualified, highly intelligent, practical, ethical, men and women, who even when they might disagree about some policy issue at least always had what they perceived to be the best interests of the country in mind? Boy, were we dumb!

I will now try to dispense with Mr. Cardon's "thoughts" as quickly as possible. Let's see...uh, Business Good/Government Bad!!; Less Spending!!; Balance Budget Amendment!!; Fewer Regulations!!; and of course, our old friend, Lower Taxes!!

Where to begin? Mr. Cardon believes that "the dollars that leave Arizona for Washington never truly return." The truth , however, is that Arizona is another one of those Red state's that gets more back from the Federal government than it pays in. Which means those wicked Blue states, chock full of hateful unions and crawling with secular humanist liberals, have been helping us pay our way for years and years. Oops.

Here's another pearl of Wil's wisdom: "cutting taxes will take the handcuffs off businesses and spur economic growth." Apparently he has been in a coma for the last 10 years. This would not surprise me. Just a reminder: the Bush tax cuts did nothing to stimulate job growth. American corporations are sitting on trillions of dollars. The problem is one of demand. Note to Wil "I Honestly Believe That I Am Qualified To Be A U.S. Senator--No Seriously" Cardon: buy an economics book and have someone read it to you. Slowly. And make sure they explain the big words.

Like many free market capitalists, Cardon the Wise is sure that EPA regulations suffocate businesses. You see, businesses small and large need to be free to poison all the air and water and anything else they can, including their workers, because otherwise they just can't compete. Thinking like that will certainly guarantee him a seat at the grownup's table should the Koch brothers ever invite him to Thanksgiving.

(I guess the Koch's must have their own separate stash of air and water they can draw from while the rest of us are suffocating and sprouting tumors...right?)

And I guess the reason Wall Street turned into a lawless casino that wrecked the world's economy was because it was over-regulated, not under-regulated. Dear God, but I am sick of morons!

There is some more of the same, "live within our means", "government should be run like a business" bullshit from this empty headed Mesan, who declares that "the most successful businesses and families share a basic principle: they don't spend more than they earn." Apparently they never borrow either. Not for wars, not for natural disasters, not for college, not to repair the gaping hole in the roof and the cracks in the floor--not for any emergency. Certainly not to pay for Grandma's surgery.

I could go on about United State's Senatorial candidate Wil Cardon and his big ideas, but frankly, I'm tired of the pathetic, rhythmic, bleating of truly stupid people. However, it seems that I am in the minority in Arizona. And anyway, based on what I've seen, we really don't require any qualifications to hold office in this state...

So a featherweight putz like Wil Cardon, who has the intellectual capacity of a small wad of dryer lint probably has a good chance to be your next Senator.

I mean, why not?

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