Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Next Voice You Hear

For some reason, American politics is infested with people who think they can hear God's voice. Maybe we can chalk it up to the fact that we are a young nation and the crazy strand still runs wide and deep in us.

George W. Bush apparently ran the country for 8 years with one ear constantly cocked heavenwards. Theologians now believe that this was necessary to counter balance the voice of Satan, in the form of Dick Cheney, whispering into his other ear. Goodness and light may triumph in the long run, who can really say, but in the case of Simple W. and the Dark Lord I think we can all agree that goodness and light took an ass whipping.

Michele Bachmann claims to be the most recent recipient of God's words o' wisdom. I have nothing to say about this latest, seemingly haphazard, manifestation of the Supreme Ruler of the Cosmos and All That Was, Is and Shall Be, except to note that the Big Man Upstairs has always had a wicked sense of humor.

No good will come from listening to the voices in your head, whatever you suppose their source to be. If you sincerely believe that God is talking to you, do us all a favor and ask a family member or close friend to hide the knives and guns, and make sure to up whatever medication you're on.

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