The Grand Imperial Wizard of Mesa

Recently Russell Pearce, the Grand Imperial Wizard of Mesa and de facto Governor of Arizona, was quoted as saying "it's not the law of the land when a Supreme Court issues a bad decision. It's to be challenged and overturned." Apparently Pearce is now putting himself forward as the ultimate decider of what is and isn't "the law of the land." This would be news to the Founding Fathers, I'm sure.

What about the decisions the rest of us don't like? Personally I thought Bush v. Gore and Citizens United were travesties. So I'll just ignore them, OK? When you get right down to it, why should we even have laws, let alone courts? After all, this is the Wild West, where all the law you'll ever need comes out of the business end of your Colt 45. So strap on, partner, and let's do us some governin'!

Russell has been a very busy boy lately, what with banning anyone he considers "undesirable" or "disruptive" from the Capitol building. Forget that "people's house" nonsense. This is R. Pearce's Crib now, y'all, and he don't want your kind sniffin' around.

But even with all that impressive legislatin' he's doing, Russell still found time to pronounce Scott Bundgaard a "victim". So I guess that settles that, right? Of course, all Republicans are victims; simple, God fearing, pure of heart and mind, America loving Patriots who are unfairly hounded by that wicked liberal media. (In Bundgaard's case you'd have to believe that the Arizona Republic was liberal, which for any sane person would be a stretch. But if Russell says it, it must be true.)

To believe Scott Bundgaard is a "victim" you'd have to believe that the woman he was manhandling by the side of the road really was reaching for a gun. And then you'd have to believe that his ex-wife, who called the police on their honeymoon, (which might be a new record, or at least tie the old record), because she feared for her safety, was also out to get poor Scott. Who knows, there might be a whole dance card of former Bundgaard paramours with interesting tales to tell. But don't you believe any of them. For The Grand Imperial Wizard of Mesa hath spaketh; and verily Scott Bundgaard is a victim. Hallelujah!