Some Questions For The Remaining Trump Supporters

Hey, whatever happened to "lock her up"?

Your boy had both houses of Congress for 2 years and the Justice Department for 4 and yet...crooked Hillary Clinton walks the earth a free woman. What's the deal? You all worked yourselves up into a frothy mouthed frenzy--repeatedly--and...NOTHING happened. All those crimes you were so sure she committed, what about them? Where are the indictments? Where is the perp walk you were all praying for? Last time I checked, Obama was still a free man, as well. Looks like he's having a good time, too. Wrote a book. FYI a book is a bunch of pieces of paper filled with words.

Speaking of things that never happened, when will Mexico start paying for The Wall? Goddamn it, Trump promised they would. The check is probably in the mail, right? And you know how slow the mail is.

What about all of these Chinese hoaxes? What about them? Boy, those Chinese sure are good at hoaxes. They convinced 350,000 (and counting) Americans to give up their lives. All for a hoax. And, apparently, they can control the weather. Hurricanes, fires, floods, blizzards. All for a hoax. Wow! And after Trumpie gave their guy that slice of super duper chocolate cake, too. Ingrates.

And all of that money TrumpCo has uh, raised (grifted), from you to challenge the obviously rigged election. Where did that money go again? Could it be into his and his family's pockets? That would probably be a good place to look.

Do you know that accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt? No, of course you don't. But it is. Which means all of those people that the Trumpmeister pardons are GUILTY. All of his little buddies have committed crimes. Crimes against America. The country you all profess to love. Funny, huh?

Finally, what flavor is the Kool Aid? Must be really tasty.

Today's Chuckle

I don't know about you, but the funniest thing I've heard recently is the rampant speculation about "what will Trump do next?"

Will he run in 2024? Will Jesus finally come back and be his running mate?

Will Don Jr. run?

Will Ivanka run?

Will he start his own media company?

Will he become the King Maker of the Republican party? 

These are all nonsensical.

Donald J. Trump will spend the rest of his miserable life either in court, in jail, and/or in bankruptcy.

And his three adult children, plus the boy wonder son-in-law, Jared, will spend much of their miserable lives doing the same.

It was "fun" while it lasted, but the gig, as they say, is up.

Their only options are to stay here and face the music, praying for an incompetent prosecutor, a senile judge, and a compromised jury full of MAGAts, or flee the country to somewhere without an extradition treaty.

Run in 2024? 

Don't make me laugh.

The Accomplishments Of Donald J. Trump

There follows an incomplete list of the major accomplishments of Donald J. Trump, soon to be a former President of the United States:

He made George W. Bush seem almost competent. At one point, I would have thought that that was impossible, but...we are forced from here on out to compare all Presidents, past and future to Trump. So, even though W. was by any fair accounting a fucking disaster, once you apply the Trump comparison meter, he was, well, still a fucking disaster--but not nearly as catastrophic a fucking disaster as Donald J. Trump. Because, for all of his faults, George W. Bush was not a racist, criminal, traitor. A combination that will henceforth be known as The Full Trump. 

At this point, all of our awful, crappy Presidents, move down one on the list of awful, crappy Presidents. Donald J. Trump is numbah 1, now and, if our luck holds, forever.

It's not all bad for Trump, though. After all, he ended the political career of Jeb "Please Clap" Bush. The "smart one" just didn't have the stones to defeat the "corrupt one". So we will have to wait another generation for a Bush to rise up and darken the land. Credit where credit is due to El Trumpo the Conqueror. 

He exposed the Republican Party for what it has been since 1968 at least: a collection of racists, hiding behind code words like "states' rights", "law and order", and "welfare queens". A party whose sole legislative purpose is to redistribute wealth upward while maintaining a permanent under class, all while appealing to the worst impulses of its base. How they got from the Party of Lincoln to this in a little over 100 years is a truly amazing achievement. 

He set an unbreakable record for lies. 25,000 of them as of today. Sure, all Presidents lie. But Jesus Christ, there's a difference between a dribble and a tsunami. Nixon and Reagan, previously thought of as the gold standard, were rank amateur liars compared to Donald J. Trump. He lies incessantly, he lies without a shred of conscience, he lies about everything and anything. He lies about things that there is no good reason to lie about. Obviously, he cannot help himself. With this amazing, unmatched, ability he really should have gone into religion instead of business. There's always a place for that level of mendacity in the Houses of the Lord. He already has the hair and the makeup, and if he can avoid prison (and that's a very big "if" hahaha) he could segue right into televangelism.

He helped to kill 265,000 Americans--and counting. And that's a lot. But at least he avoided a CoVid "panic". Right? On the plus side of the ledger, some of those were (and will be) his own supporters. When you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

I wonder, right before they intubate a MAGAt, do they ask "tired of winning yet?"

By necessity, this must remain an incomplete list. No doubt the Biden Justice Department will add many entries. 

In the meantime, he has a few more weeks to work his "magic".

The End Of Trumpy The Clown

Sad day for the Ur-clown.

All the old gags stopped working and the Big Top has left town without him.

There is no lying his way out of this.

There is no threatening his way out of this.

There is no bribing his way out of this.

Trumpy's bag of time tested tricks is empty.

Oh, sure, he still has his die hard fans. 

But let's face it, they're so easily entertained, so relentlessly stupid, so morally challenged, they'll be frothing at the mouth and laughing at Trumpy's tired act until the graveyard dirt is shoveled onto them.

Of course, he can always send out his fellow clown Rudy G., who, incidentally, is a dead ringer for the murderous baboon in Ad Astra.

Unfortunately, Rudy's act is just as lame as Trumpy's. 

And many of his clown cohort have already fled the SS Trumpy, which is taking on water at an alarming rate. I could say something about rats leaving a sinking ship, but that wouldn't be fair to rats.

No, no matter what Trumpy tries, for the majority of us, Trumpy Time Is Over.

So, R.I.P. Trumpy.

Which in this particular case means Rest In Prison.

Remember This: They Will Lie

Living in poor, stupid, Arizona, I've been inundated with Martha McSally television ads.

Normally I record everything so I can fast forward through every ad, political and otherwise. 

Life is too short, ya know?

But sometimes, during a live sports event, for instance, that isn't possible.

And I've come to a simple conclusion:

Nowadays, being a Republican requires that you lie as easily as you breathe.

And it seemingly doesn't matter that your lies are easily disprovable by anyone with a semi-functioning brain.

For example, there are records of every vote McSally has cast. And yet, in her ads, she claims to have voted otherwise.

The record shows she has voted against Medicare, Social Security, and insuring pre-existing conditions.

It's right there in black and white.

Her ads, however, when they aren't telling outright lies about her opponent, Mark Kelly, claim that she voted for all of those things rather than against all of them.

In fact, if you weren't aware of her record, you would think that she was a champion of people with pre-existing conditions. And that Kelly was some sort of crooked stooge of the Chinese.

You know, like our Traitor-in-Chief and his daughter/wife Ivanka.

It's breathtaking, that ability to LIE so often, so completely. 

It's downright Trumpian.

Again, if you are stupid enough to fall for it, you're going to get what you deserve.

Amy Coney Barrett Orders An Ice Cream Cone

Clerk: Yes ma'am?

ACB: I would like to order an ice cream.

Clerk: Yes ma'am. What flavor?

ACB: So many to choose from.

Clerk: Yes there are. But you must have a favorite. 

ACB: At this time I am not prepared to offer an opinion. 

Clerk: But--

ACB: Each flavor must be judged individually, based on the original intention of its maker.

Clerk: What?

ACB: I cannot announce any choice that I might or might not make regarding any, or for that matter, all ice creams, until I have weighed the intent.

Clerk: Uh huh. You must have a favorite, though. 

ACB: Whether I do, or don't, cannot be determined until such time as I am confronted with arguments from all sides.

Clerk: Arguments? It's just ice cream, lady. Surely you have a--

ACB: I have no preconceptions regarding any flavor of ice cream. I just want to adhere to the original intent of the ice cream makers.

Clerk: Uh huh. "The original intent of the ice cream makers." I haven't heard that one before.

ACB: I believe that it is impossible for any person of reason to choose anything without understanding its makers' original intent.

Clerk: I'm pretty sure they just wanted to make something that tastes good that people will like.

ACB: And what is your source for that belief?

Clerk: Just a wild guess. Maybe if we just narrowed it down to vanilla and chocolate?

ACB: Fine flavors both. There is established precedent for both.

Clerk: Good. We're making progress. How about a scoop of creamy, snow white Vanilla?

ACB: I would never choose, or not choose, an ice cream based on color. That would be wrong.

Clerk: OK. A scoop of rich, dark Chocolate then?

ACB: Hmm. I don't know. There are merits to both. And demerits as well. Until I have further information, from all available sources, I'm afraid I must delay announcing my decision.

Clerk: Next in line, please!

Is There ANYONE Associated With This Administration Who ISN'T A Criminal?

Uh...apparently not.

Are there ANY Republicans in Congress who aren't in Russia's pocket?

Maybe. One or two.

Do we really want all of those Catholics on the Supreme Court? 

No. At least not the "Baby Jesus weeps for fetuses" kind. If they're the "shut the fuck up and mind your own goddamn business" kind, then...maybe. But those are few and far between in public life. So, let's just go with "NO", ok?

Do they have Presidential suites at Federal prisons?

Hopefully we will find out very soon.

If...(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling)

If we're going to forcibly sterilize "undesirables", shouldn't we start with the Trump family?

If Republican policies are what Americans really want, how come they can't win a national election without cheating?

If there truly were a "Bay of Pigs" award, would it commemorate how a bunch of Cubans who got run off the island by Castro tried to go back and got their asses handed to them again?

If you want to know the difference between Republican men and Republican women it's really very simple. The women wear slightly less cologne.

If you're a cop and you gun down a black woman in her bedroom, make sure you don't let any stray bullets go into a neighbor's dwelling. Otherwise you might get in trouble.

If Joseph Goebbels ever came back he'd have his own prime time show on Fox News.

If you take away hypocrisy, what else does a Republican candidate have? Oh yeah, racism, greed and stupidity. So, glass half full.

Macho Man?

So Donald J. Trump is playing the song "Macho Man" at his "rallies", i.e. those Trump-oholic love fests where his base of mouth breathing, racist, imbeciles gather to worship at the "stable genius's" feet.

For those of you not old enough to recall, "Macho Man" was a tongue in cheek ditty performed by the Village People, a gay centric singing group popular in the disco years.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

However, we should pause for a moment and consider the idea of Donald J. Trump being a "macho" man:

He spends a lot of time in his tanning booth and/or putting orange tinted makeup on his face. To make him look tanned and rested, I suppose. Though the effect is more "circus clown in a hurry." Come to think of it,  what does he have to rest from? I guess tweeting, watching Fox News, and eating junk food can be exhausting to some. And trying to remember what lie you're telling must take a lot out of a fella.

He spends even more time on what passes for his "hair". So, in his mind's eye, he can still seem as "sexy" and "virile" as he was in his "prime", which was approximately 45 years ago.

He wears shoes with kitten heels. To make him look as tall as he claims to be and less morbidly obese than he is. He hopes to achieve the same effect with that clownishly long red tie.

Some people are saying that he also wears a corset underneath the XXXXXL blue suit. I don't know. But some people are saying it. So it must be true, right?

Add it all up and then ask yourself "Is this macho?"

13 Excuses When Your Trump Boat Sinks

1. Too many MAGA flags.

2. Too many MAGAts on board.

3. AntiFa submarines.

4. Didn't understand how water works. Waves? Wakes? It's all so complicated! 

5. Black Lives Matter sank it.

6. But her emails!

7. Obama's fault.

8. Sea Monsters! Ai-yee!

9. It's obviously a Deep State conspiracy. 

10. Somali pirates.

11. God's Will.

12. I'm an idiot.

13. Karma (see number 12).

"Suckers" And "Losers"

Shocked! 

Shocked that our Traitor in Chief would say something callous and heartless and cruel about veterans.

Just kidding.

Not shocked. Not surprised.

The Trump years have left us all numb.  

The flood of horseshit has been so constant, so overwhelming, that at some point even the most vigilant among us have thrown up their hands and turned to the bottle.

Every day has brought another outrage, another affront. Sometimes every hour.

He has shit on the Constitution, he has shit on our laws, he has shit on Barack Obama, he has shit on countless Black Americans, he has shit on women, he has shit on John McCain--both while he was alive and after his death, he has shit on all of our oldest allies, he has shit on Gold Star families, he has shit on just about everything and everyone. 

Except his boss, V. Putin, of course. And his base of low functioning idiots, too.

So, no, it's not surprising that Cadet Bone Spurs would shit all over every American who has ever served in our military.  

They just weren't "smart" enough--or rich enough--to weasel out like he did. They didn't understand that money is everything--the only thing that truly matters--like he does.

"Suckers" and "Losers"?  

The only suckers and losers that I can see are the sad fools who continue to support those large chunks of human garbage known as Donald J. Trump and his scum family.

Other Martha McSally Fundraising Ideas

You have by now, no doubt, skipped one meal and sent the money saved to Martha McSally--just like she asked.

However, sadly, that may not be enough!

It's becoming harder and harder for miserable right wing hacks to get all of the money they need to run a successful campaign. 

Despite what you may have heard, lies are not cheap these days--especially when you use them in bulk. And the Russians only have so much money.

So....Martha needs more help, i.e. dollars, and here are some ideas on how to get them for her:

Rob a liquor store. CoVid has led to more people drinking at home. So, liquor stores are flush right now! And Martha really needs you. What's a potential few years in jail if it means you helped Martha? Don't be selfish.

Steal from your family. I understand this is very popular in some quarters. And honestly, does Grandma really need all of that dough? I mean, what's she going to spend it on? Doilies? Tea? Come on, Grandma! Time to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about Martha McSally.

Stand on the corner with a sloppily lettered sign. Thanks to Der Trump's fantastic stewardship of the economy during the pandemic, the corners are getting very crowded. But there's always room for one more. And when they hear that you're doing it for Martha McSally, the real beggars will stand aside.

Remember, like all Republicans, Martha doesn't care where the money comes from, as long as it keeps on coming.

Get busy!

Random Thoughts On A Ridiculously Hot Day

Since "Global Warming" is just another of those Chinese hoaxes that are so popular with our fearless leader, this string of 110 degree plus days that we're living through in Phoenix must just be another socialist plot--right?

Anyway, the extreme heat makes things a little crazy, and our thoughts turn to...

If you have enough money to start your own space program, you have too much money.

Maybe this, and by "this" I mean the Trump Abomination, will stop, once and for all, that "run government like a business...we need a businessman in charge" nonsense. Maybe. 

We should never underestimate the ability of the Republican Party to repackage the same old horse shit in a shiny new box.

It's very, very, very hard to get to excited about major league baseball when it's played under these conditions. Basketball seems to have pulled off its restart with a modicum of verisimilitude, but all those tens of thousands of empty seats in the baseball stadiums, dotted with the occasional CGI fans, are just sad. Maybe they should just cut and paste the front cover of the Sgt. Pepper's album everywhere? That would be fun, at least for awhile. Plus, I'm pretty sure that they're using a juiced ball again...

Is every Republican in Congress either a twink or a female impersonator?

There is no point in trying to convince any remaining die hard Trump supporters about the error in their ways. Don't waste your time or your breath. If, after all of the damage that "man" and his Republican enablers have done to this country over the last few years, they still follow him blindly over whatever cliff he's headed toward, they are past redemption. Just like those Germans in the Spring of 1945 who were convinced that the Big Guy would turn it around any day now, they are True Believers and they will go to their graves believing the Big Lie(s).

Always remember, "Greater love hath no man" than that he would leave his brother's death bed to get in a quick 18 holes.

We will get through this madness, somehow, but what we will look like on the other side is at this point unknowable.

Demon Sperm? That Would Explain A LOT...

So Donald J. Trump has found himself a doctor he believes.

She happens to be just a little crazy, but hey, baby steps.

And, honestly, what else would you expect from our Orange Pig God? Sound medical advice? What, are you crazy, too?

To be fair, the concept of Demon Sperm makes a kind of sense.

How better to explain Trump and his entire worthless family of dweebs and grifters?

And Moscow Mitch McConnell. And Mike Pence. And Roger Stone. And almost everyone at Fox News. And Rush Limbaugh. And Jim Jeffords. And Louie Gohmert. And Rand Paul. And...

Golly, the list of the spawn of Demon Sperm is long and twisted, and almost completely Republican/Libertarian.

Go figure.

And we mustn't forget all of those "you can't tell me what to do!" MAGAts that refuse to wear masks because of what can only be called Free Dumb.

Yes, this Demon Sperm thing does explain a lot about the USA in 2020.

Well, That Didn't Work...Or: Brainstorming With The Trump Pandemic Response Team

So, pretending that something isn't happening doesn't make it stop happening?

Shocked! Shocked to find this out!

Imagine the medical possibilities if only it were true! An entire new field of, well, let's call them "alternative" treatments.

Your doctor says you have cancer, but you tell him you don't. And just like that, you don't have cancer! Same for diabetes, heart disease, STD's, indeed everything!

Unfortunately, that doesn't work. Damn shame, too.

I know! We stop counting the number of people who contract the disease.

Sure, the bodies will continue to pile up, but that's a small price to pay for peace of mind.

How about touting a "cure" that doesn't work and may actually kill people?

Tried it already. Anybody else?

We'll pretend that it's over!

And?

Tell everybody to just go back to work, or school, or church, or wherever they want.

With masks?

No. Masks are optional.

Why?

Because...uh...FREEDOM!

I like it!

Shouldn't we listen to the experts? I mean, like that Fauci guy?

Fuck him. Goddamn busybody.

Remember, in this case, we're the experts.

Oh, right.

And Now, A Few Words About U.S. History

Some people seem confused by the concept of treason and traitors.

The Confederacy took up arms against the United States. They did it, despite all that revisionist nonsense about "states' rights", to maintain the institution of slavery. After all, what capitalist doesn't dream of free labor? Even if it meant keeping millions of human beings in bondage. That's "our history".

They were traitors.

Their flags, all of them, are traitors' flags.

Their "heroes", all of them, were traitors.

The statues and other monuments to these people celebrate treason.

(By the way, in addition to being traitors, they were losers.)

This is only confusing to people who applauded when Reagan laid a wreath at that SS cemetery. Or, more recently, when Putin's lapdog does anything.

Go to New England. Look for a statue to King George III or General Cornwallis.

Go to Germany. Look for statues to Hitler, Goerring, or Rommel.

It is very easy to remember our history, unvarnished, without resorting to bronze memorials to treason and traitors and slavery.

Religious Notes From All Over, Or: WHAT?

Since when is a church a business?

And aren't businesses supposed to pay taxes?

Apparently, billions of dollars earmarked to go to "small businesses" have ended up going to churches, with the Catholic church taking in the biggest haul. Including a cool million for St. Patrick's cathedral.

(As a side note, if you want to light a candle at St. Patty's you have to pay for it. And every time I've been there I've marveled at the amazing architecture and wondered just how many poor people could have been fed and housed with the money spent on all that marble, stained glass, gold, and granite.)

And let's not overlook all of the Mega Churches, aka CoVid Palaces, that are also at the Republican grift trough. Apparently God wants to make sure that his "Holy" Men can afford their Gulfstream jets, custom made suits, and well lacquered pompadours.

So, by all means give them money while mom and pop businesses fall by the wayside.

If that isn't insanely corrupt, I don't know what is.

Of course it's just par for the course with the Most Corrupt Administration In America's History.*

Republicans like to rail against Big Government--but not nearly as much as they like to loot the Treasury of Big Government for their friends.

*Trademark pending

How To Tell If Someone Is Crazy: A Primer

They watch Fox News. If they happen to go out for more ammo, they record Fox news.

They have a Confederate flag.

They think slavery wasn't so bad.

They're sure that all those black people killed by the police either were committing some sort of crime punishable by death or brought it on themselves by being "disrespectful of the police."

They believe everything Sean Hannity/Laura Ingraham/Tucker Carlson/Rush Limbaugh/Lou Dobbs tells them.

They think CoVid 19 is a "liberal hoax".

They're convinced that there is a pedophile ring run by the Democrats and based in the basement of a pizzeria. (Let that one sink in for awhile. Oh, by the way,  the pizzeria has no basement.)

They insist that, right or wrong, George Will is an intellectual.

They proudly wear a red hat that reads Make America Great Again.

Other Potential Sites For The Republican Convention

Holding a large revival meeting of slobbering, hysterical, boobs in Florida seems somewhat problematic right now, so let me suggest some other sites for the Republicans:

Moscow

Riyadh

The Vault At A Deutsche Bank Branch

Any KKK Clubhouse

A Dumpster

A Dumpster On Fire
 
A Garbage Barge

A Very, Very, Deep Hole

A Carnival Cruise Ship Somewhere In The South Atlantic

The Ballroom Of The Titanic

Nuremberg

Hitler's Bunker

Hell

The First American Freedom

Forget about religion, assembly, a free press, or bearing arms.

Ditto for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Take a good look around, and you'll see that the ur-American freedom is the freedom to be a complete, fucking, idiot.

That is the only possible explanation for Trump and his MAGAt followers.

And their little "protests".

And their little guns.

And their refusal to wear masks or social distance or believe in science in general.

It can all be traced back to their little, malfunctioning brains.

Thank God For Our Hillbillies

Think how advanced we'd be as a people, as a nation, if we hadn't had our hillbillies digging in their heels, and slowing us down every step of the way.

We'd have universal health care, a guaranteed living wage, rational gun control, justice for all-- regardless of skin color, a burgeoning green economy, and equal opportunity for all of our citizens.

But we can't, because our millions of hillbillies want it to be 1856...forever.

And when I say hillbillies, I don't just mean people with a handful of teeth, living in a shack, married to a cousin and eyeing their daughters, somewhere in the Ozarks or the Appalachians.

No, I have it on very good authority that there are hillbillies throughout this great land of ours. In our Congress, in very expensive condos in NYC, in well guarded mansions in Silicon Valley, in state houses and judges' chambers across the land, hell, even in the White House!

Cadet Bone Spurs Takes Charge!

Him was scared!

The evil demonstrators frightened him!

Him cowered in his bunker!

The fires frightened him!

Him was even too scared to tweet!!!!

But then, from somewhere in the rotting orange husk of his flabby body where, in a human, the heart would normally be, he summoned what passes for Cadet Bone Spurs' courage, and he called for the military!

HIS military!

And suddenly he was Truman dropping the H-Bomb, Nixon bombing Cambodia, Reagan--The Lion of Granada, W. invading the wrong country!

He was all of them and even more...or less, depending on your point of view.

And a grateful nation will once again rest easy.

As the cops and soldier boys happily roam free through the streets of America, shooting whomever they'd like.

Because, let's face it, many of them signed up for just this kind of opportunity.

And, like they say, let God sort out the guilty from the innocent.

The Exceptions To American Exceptionalism

We are the richest country on the face of the earth.

We always have plenty of money for new whizbang arms systems. Tanks, planes, carriers, missiles--everything the military wants, everything the defense contractors can come up with, we can't get enough of it. Just tell us how much and it's a done deal.

We always have plenty of money to fight seemingly endless wars all across the globe. Our troops have the best equipment and plenty of it.

We always have plenty of money to bail out failing banks or Wall Street institutions. All they have to do is fuck up badly, and then cry for help, and voila! Their money worries are over.

We have so much money, we can give great big tax cuts to the richest Americans and let most of our largest corporations get away with paying little or no taxes at all.

But when it comes to helping regular people, that's where we make an exception to American Exceptionalism.

Universal health care? Sorry, can't afford it.

Concerted effort to fight climate change? Sorry, can't afford it.

Free, or at least cheaper public colleges? Sorry, can't afford it.

House our homeless? Feed our hungry? Sorry, can't afford it.

Strengthen the "safety net"? Sorry, can't afford it.

Retrain those who lose their jobs to technology? Sorry, can't afford it.

Clean green economy? Sorry, can't afford it

High speed rail? Sorry, can't afford it.

Paid maternity leave? Sorry, can't afford it.

Universal pre-K and after school programs? Sorry, can't afford it.

Progressive taxes on billionaires? Wall Street transaction tax? Sorry, can't afford it.

I guess it's these "exceptions" that make us so exceptional.

American Capitalism Explained

Capital will always search out the cheapest labor. That labor may be in the next state over, or in an entirely different country. Healthy competition makes us stronger. Therefore, a mandated minimum wage should be eliminated.

Making laborers compete to see just how little pay they are willing to work for keeps businesses lean and competitive.

Mandatory minimum wages make workers soft. As does government subsidized universal health care and a sufficiently large safety net. Soft, coddled workers are a drag on our free market.

Businesses must be allowed to exploit workers. Workers, after all, are a disposable commodity.

Therefore, because of this "disposability", shareholders are much more important than workers.

Everything must be done to maximize shareholder value.

Businesses must be allowed to pollute the air and water. Any kind of regulation is just a step toward socialism. This includes safety regulations.

Ridiculously large bonuses for management are essential to keep "good" people.

Remember, corporations are people, too.

If you fail--that's your problem. If a bank fails--that's your problem, too.

So banks must be saved at all costs.

While you, after all, are disposable.

What Did You Expect?

So Bill Barr's Department of Justice is dropping all charges against Michael Flynn...

Is anyone surprised by this?

If you are, you need to remember one thing: Bill Barr has always been a Republican hack.

And if the truth is ever allowed to come out about Flynn, and Manafort, and Stone, and McConnell, and the Trump family and their Russian buddies, that would be the end of the Republican Party.

Bill Barr has fought his entire adult life to protect the simmering cesspool that is the modern Republican Party.

That, and a brutally medieval interpretation of Catholicism, are the foundation of what passes for his belief system.

Deep down, Barr is probably as repelled by Trump as anyone else with a semi-sentient brain. But that's not the point.

The point is that his party is imperiled, and he will do anything, tell any lie, break any law, shit on the Constitution, to preserve it.

Oh, Go Ahead. Drink The Bleach!

You've followed him this far, so why not?

He's a traitor and a liar, a fool and a failure. A rapist, an adulterer, a racist and a conman. Everything he touches rots and dies. Quite possibly the most despicable human imaginable.*

But, dammit, he's your guy. And he needs you, desperately.

You think he's a genius. You think he's a great man. The greatest President ever! Right?

You've worked yourself into a religious frenzy at his rallies.

You wear the sacred MAGA hats.

Nothing and nobody is going to keep you from congregating with your fellow MAGAts.

That's what Freedom means! 

You froth at the mouth already, so...

Do your patriotic duty and drink the fucking bleach.

Mainline some hydroxychloroquine.

Oh, and while you're at it, shove a very powerful flashlight up your ass, too.

What do you have to lose?

*(Actually, he's in a dead heat with Moscow Mitch McConnell)

Jaws 2020

Time for a Jaws' reboot!

Of course, we'll have to change a few things to appeal to today's audience.

So, instead of a killer shark, we'll have a killer virus.

And instead of a small resort community, Amity, we'll use the entire USA.

Finally, we have to replace the idiotic mayor, who put money ahead of the safety of his citizens.

I'm thinking an idiotic, egocentric President, who (spoiler alert) also puts money before the safety of his citizens and who finally responds to the crisis by spending his time bragging about his TV ratings while people are dying.

For comic relief, he surrounds himself with a couple of token smart people whom he completely ignores (hahaha) and a whole bunch of dumb people, including his daughter and bumbling son-in-law, who worship him. Dumb people who think they're smart are always funny!

The heroes will be those brave people who find themselves fighting both the virus and the idiots--sometimes without the aid of the proper equipment.

Don't know how it ends, but I smell a hit!

God's Will

Listen up all of you fundamentalists.

Who are you going to trust?

A bunch of stupid so called "experts" and a bunch of godless scientists?

Or Jesus Christ and his number one chosen boy, Donald J. Trump?

Only a heathen would "stay at home" and follow some stupid social distancing guidelines designed to take away your right to congregate at the church of your choice.

Fuck that shit!

Rise up! Gather together in His name!

No virus is going to stop you! No siree!

No "laws of man" are going to stop you either!

Rub against each other. Writhe about on the floor. Sweat and shout in His name. Bunch together in holy piles. Those of you with snakes--and you know who you are--kiss those snakes!

And don't forget to bring a covered dish to share.

His might will protect you from some stupid virus.

And if it doesn't, well...that's God's Will, too. Right?

Jesus and Trump both want you to worship them. And none of that quiet, namby-pamby, stay at home worship, either.

No, they want, they demand, that all out, balls to the wall, hysterical caterwauling that you're just dying to deliver.

So get to it!

You've followed them this far, right?

Might as well follow them into the abyss.

"Please Hold For The President..."

Keep your phones charged and handy, Trump supporters!

Apparently the overwhelming, all encompassing genius of Jared Kushner isn't enough.

And so, your Dear Leader may call and ask you for your advice about this latest Chinese Hoax, the coronavirus.

He's already reached out to noted epidemiologists, J-Lo and A-Rod, and you may be next!

Don't worry if you don't know a damn thing about viruses, epidemics, medicine, logistics, health care, or anything in general.

He doesn't either!

But, that's why you love him, isn't it? He's just as spectacularly uninformed as you are.

And that's why he needs you.

After all, it was the "low information voters", (with the help of the Russians, the media, voter suppression, and James Comey) that put him where he is in the first place.

And now he needs you to help save the Republic!

So put on those thinking caps!

The next call you get may be from you-know-who!

So, This Is What It's Like To Have An Idiot In Charge During A Pandemic

Are you still alive?

Good.

Consider yourself fortunate.

Fortunate that you haven't listened to our #FakePresident's advice regarding the coronavirus pandemic.

This whole "what do experts know, anyway?" approach to government has come back to bite our sad nation's ass. Hard.

Turns out that government isn't the problem. Inept government is. And Republican is now officially a synonym for inept.

Turns out that a "government so small we can drown it in a bathtub" doesn't help much during a national, indeed worldwide, crisis.

(You can thank Ronald Reagan, the Republican Party, and that stooge Grover Norquist for much of the mess we're in.)

Toss in a spoiled, psychologically damaged fool in the White House and let the fun begin!

At this point, anybody still listening to our Grifter-in-Chief, or his Fox News' stooges, deserves to catch the virus.

Then, they'll either live or die. Toss a coin.

And all the prayers in the world won't change that.

It's Never EVER His Fault

At times like these it's very important to have a thoughtful, calm, intelligent, proactive person in charge.

Someone who has a complete grasp of the situation, who defers to experts, works tirelessly to solve problems, and is able to take the necessary steps to keep the populace from descending into a panicking mob.

Someone whose demeanor screams competence, whose words reflect a common human decency, and a compassion for those suffering.

Someone who is accountable and responsible.

Instead, we have what appears to be a heavily sedated orangutan.

An orangutan who has gone bankrupt several times.

Not his fault.

Who has been a serial adulterer.

Not his fault.

Who has been accused of rape by a number of women.

Not his fault.

Who gutted our pandemic response team.

Not his fault.

Who hasn't a clue about governing.

Not his fault.

Who doesn't give a damn about anything except his own appetites.

Not his fault. 

The one unchanging constant about our heavily sedated orangutan is that...

IT'S NEVER EVER HIS FAULT.

He Is The Real Hoax

One of the definitions of the word hoax is "a fraud".

You know, like a businessman who brags about his acumen, but in reality is a multiple bankrupt, who cheats his sub contractors at every turn, who has blown through the many hundreds of millions that he inherited, and has only survived by laundering money for Russian crooks.

A guy who brags about his "genius", but is obviously a halfwit. And that's probably being insulting to all the other halfwits.

The same guy claims to be an expert in many fields, including diplomacy, warfare, health care, weather, and finance, but when push comes to shove, he really doesn't know much about anything besides self-aggrandizement. That he's an expert in.

This extremely "manly" man buddies up to any dictator he encounters, fawning like a debutante on her first date, and then folds at the first sign of trouble.

In addition, he's the phoniest of "Christians", a racist, sexist, xenophobic twat, who spends his days lying about everything under the sun, and blaming others for his never ending list of failures.

The idea that this person is equipped to lead us through the rough times ahead is laughable. Tragic, but laughable.

That's the real hoax. A walking, talking, snake oil salesman masquerading as a President.

The 7 Deadly Sins Personified

Shall we go down the list?

Yes! Let's.

1. Pride: one who boasts of being a "stable genius", who has never admitted to a single failing--despite an amazingly long list of failings, who claims to be the "greatest" without a drop of evidence, who slaps his name on everything he can, and in big GOLD letters, too, might be said to have an excess of pride.

2. Envy: when the chief goal of your every working hour seemingly consists of dismantling anything that your predecessor did, or claiming his achievements as your own, you might be just a little envious of him. And, really, why not? He was intelligent, honest, capable, attractive, funny--in short, everything you aren't.

3. Gluttony: please pass the fast food and ketchup. And then stand back! Stand way, way, back. You don't get that fat without some serious effort.

4. Lust: do we even have to go there? Although, I must say, the barely contained, overwhelming desire for his eldest daughter is the cherry on top.

5. Anger: him get angry! Him get oh so angry when the peoples mock him. Oh, and the peoples, at least the sentient ones, do mock him. Him the world's largest snowflake.

6. Greed: when his era is over, after the White House has been ritually scourged, better count the silverware. And audit all of his expenses. 'Cuz the man would steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes.

7. Sloth: the one saving grace he has is that he's just too damn lazy to even attempt much governing. I mean, honestly, who has the time? There's a gold toilet to sit on whilst he tweets his constant stream of lies, distortions, and foolish nonsense. Then it's time to watch Fox News, followed by a greasy snack and a lengthy nap. Repeat as necessary.

The 7 Deadly Sins personified: if that isn't a perfect description of Donald J. Trump, then nothing is.

An Observation

The Republican Party now seems to consist entirely of people who spend the week hurting the least powerful members of our society: minorities, children, students, women, gays, immigrants.

They weaken the social safety net at every opportunity and let their corporate friends foul our air and water. They make sure the poor stay poor while the rich get richer.

They harass women who simply want control over their own bodies.

And they threaten, and sometimes murder, the doctors who help these women.

They applaud taking children from their parents and throwing them in cages.

They blindly support a man who is the walking embodiment of the 7 Deadly Sins-with a few extras thrown in for good measure.

Then on Sundays they all go to church and congratulate themselves on what good Christians they are.

We need to come up with new, stronger words than hypocrisy and hypocrites. The old ones have lost all meaning.

And Now, A Few Words About Evil...

There is a misconception about evil.

Some people believe that there is a Devil, who causes us to do bad things. "The Devil made me do it", in the immortal words of Flip Wilson.

And some people believe in vampires, and goblins, and zombies, too. Oh, and let's not forget whatever malevolent supernatural forces that Stephen King can dream up.

But the truth is that evil comes directly from men.

(And a few women as well)

Though evil comes in all colors, for our intents and purposes, we will focus on the evil that white men do--since white men are the primary force in the United States.

And, Jesus, there's just so much to choose from!

Men in nice suits, carrying expensive brief cases, working diligently to move the nation's wealth ever upward into the already bursting pockets of the .1% 

Or men in pickup trucks with Confederate flags pasted all over them.

And clean cut boys with rosy cheeks and dead eyes, carrying swastika flags, marching and screaming their way through an otherwise pleasant evening.

Right now, we have an extremely evil man in the White House. The kind of fellow who would gladly sell his soul to the highest bidder--if only he had a soul.

So, lacking a soul, he instead sells his country--my country--your country--to whomever offers the most.

He surrounds himself with evil. In fact, evil is drawn to him, like hungry flies to a huge pile of shit. The Barrs, Stones, Limbaughs, Hannitys, Flynns, Cohens, Millers, McConnells, and Grahams of the world recognize a kindred spirit.

And, knowing his place in the true order of things, he bows down to even greater evil whenever he encounters it. "Yes Vladimir. Whatever you say, Vladimir."

Thankfully, he's essentially a fucking incompetent, imbecilic, morbidly obese, grifter.

If he were evil and smart, imagine the damage he could do...

But, because he's a buffoon, there might still be time to save the Republic.

No God. No Devil. No Heaven. No Hell. Just us.

At Last! The Republican Health Care Plan

Pre-existing conditions: We're very sorry you're sick. You have our thoughts and prayers. But, well, health insurance corporations are people, too. And, uh, you can't expect them to go broke trying to help you. So, uh, tough luck. Try to live a healthier life style...next time. Ok?

Abortion: children, especially in their fetal form, are a gift from a loving and benevolent GOD. And you don't want to piss HIM off, do you? Sorry if you were raped by someone, even a member of your own family. (Yuck.) As always, our thoughts and prayers are headed your way. But that's all we can do for you. Abortions must remain an option only for wealthy Republican women, or the mistresses of wealthy Republican men. God understands. In fact, it's in the Bible. Somewhere.

Premiums: everything costs more than it used to. Funny, isn't it? Again, you can't expect insurance company presidents, doctors, and hospitals to sacrifice their lifestyles to subsidize yours. That's SOCIALISM! We are sorry that you have to pay more, seemingly every year, for what often mounts to bare bones coverage. But that's the way the health care cookie crumbles. Remember one thing: Capitalism is the best system yet for moving money upwards. Again, we have a limitless supply of thoughts and prayers, and we gladly send some more your way.

Drugs: some drugs that cost mere pennies to manufacture can be sold for hundreds of dollars to people desperate for them. Life or death desperate. That's supply and demand at its finest! The free market at its best! Is this a great country, or what? Big Pharma Rules! Sure, you can find exactly the same drugs for much less in Canada, or Mexico, or, well, practically anywhere else in the advanced world.  But you don't live in the advanced world anymore. You live in the United States. And we are headed backwards at warp speed. Wheeeee! Honestly, how un-American would it be to buy your desperately needed drugs from another country? 

Medical bankruptcy: life isn't fair, in case you haven't noticed. But maybe, just maybe, if you'd worked a little harder, gone to a better college, chosen a different career, been born into a wealthy family, or simply not gotten sick, you wouldn't be in this predicament. Time to look in the mirror, chum. Again, our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are headed your way. All you have to do is ask. Oh, here's a thought: have you considered Go Fund Me?

Synonyms For Republican Senators

Gutless.
Spineless.
Cowards.
Fools.
Punks.
Stooges.
Weasels.
Crooks.
Weaklings.
Liars.
Dupes.
Phonys.
Hypocrites.
Racists.
Traitors.

Of course, the House of Representatives is chock full of Republicans who are even worse.

Hard to believe, I know.

But true.

A Nagging Suspicion

Optimism is one of the foundational values* of this great land of ours.

You know, the whole "tomorrow will be better than today" bit.

After all, the first few generations of Americans were screw-ups who had to leave wherever they were for one of several reasons: Religious, political, legal, or maybe just that they had failed to achieve any kind of success in their native lands.

So they came here, to the Land of Hope and Dreams, like it says on the brochure.

And for many people and many years, it was just that...

Recently, though, I've had this nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, we've already seen the best of it. The good times are rapidly ending and it will be all downhill from here.

Probably not a Cormac McCarthy dystopia in my lifetime; but certainly unpredictably unpleasant times ahead for my children and grandchildren.

Let us list some of the many things that will queer the deal for the generations that follow us:

Climate change. For a "Chinese hoax" it's amazing how wide spread and enduring it is. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here, but I think the 98% of climate scientists who agree that it is man made and therefore men can do something about it might be right, and the 2% or so that argue against human causes, and who, by the way, are usually bought and paid for by oil and other extraction industries, might be wrong. When California burns to the ground, Miami is completely underwater, and bits of New York City, too, maybe the 2% will finally come around--if the checks from the Koch brothers and the oil companies stop, that is. Until then, by all means let's Drill Baby Drill!

Antibiotic resistant diseases. All those goodies they shoot into our chickens and cows and pigs to make them healthy enough so we can eat them, have several "unintended consequences". One is that strains of microbes pop up that fewer and fewer drugs can combat. We are nearing a pandemic of some unknown origin, and there may not be anything we can do to stop it. Oh well, you didn't want to live forever anyway, did you?

The worldwide lurch to "strong men" leaders. All dictatorships are essentially the same: one man in charge; his family and a few trusted people making out like bandits, literally; and much suffering for the masses. Everything for sale to the highest bidder, including the right to pollute the air and water. And you either acquiesce, or are labelled an "enemy of the state." There have always been a handful of dictators scattered across the planet, though in the latter part of the 20th century they were usually isolated in inconsequential backwaters. These days, however, it is extremely discouraging that many millions of Americans seem to be fine with this approach to governing.

So, here we are. The optimist in me says there's still enough time to "fix" things. The pessimist says we won't.

It was fun while it lasted.

 *(That and an amazing ability to gloss over all of our failures--but that's another story.)

Send In The Clowns

So the time has come for Moscow Mitch McConnell to have his show trial. Stalin would be so proud.

Of course, in Stalin's Russia the innocent were convicted, and here the guilty will walk. But still...

Let's sit back and watch the gutless Republican Insane Clown Posse, led by Mitch and that Belle of the South, Lindsey Graham, dissemble and distract, whatever it takes to muddle the proceedings. That remains the only thing they're really good at.

To be blunt, what we have here is a bunch of traitors, bought and paid for by the Russians, with Moscow Mitch acting as bursar, doing their damnedest to keep an idiot, a crook, a liar, in short a complete embarrassment to the nation, in office. 

"Follow the money" and you will end up in Moscow.

Witnesses or no witnesses, it won't make any difference to the Trump Cult.

They love their boy. And won't believe anything negative about him. In their tiny, malformed brains he is them and they are him. A match made in Hell.

Send in the clowns? Don't bother. They're here.

Priorities

You might think that if you lived somewhere where the mill or factory had closed, your first priority would be some sort of retraining program so you could find a new job, perhaps in a newer technology that isn't going to disappear next week, or next year.

Wrong. Your first priority is to make sure that no woman can have an abortion.

You might think that if you had no healthcare, your first priority would be to support any plan that made healthcare more available and more affordable, so you wouldn't put off treatment until it was too late, or go bankrupt over hospital bills.

Wrong again. Your first priority is to make sure that no one from Latin America makes it into the United States--with or without papers.

And you might think that maybe, just maybe, we have way too many guns in the hands of unstable people, and keeping everyone, stable or not, away from military style firearms and unlimited ammo is a sane idea.

Silly you. How can you be so wrong?!

Finally,  you might think that if you lived anywhere affected by climate change, which in essence means if you live anywhere on earth, your first priority would be to insist on any and all efforts to save our sorry asses from the worst effects.

Also wrong. Your first priority is to support any and all Israeli efforts to punish the Palestinians and make the Middle East even more unstable. Because Jesus is coming back for the End Times and the Rapture, and who really cares about the environment? Greta Thunberg? That LOSER? Fuck her! We're going to party with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost!